The beauty left behind addiction

I’m at the North Rim of the Grand Canyon as I write this. The family is still asleep, and other than a young family with three rambunctious children I’m pretty much alone with my thoughts. I’m sitting at the end of a trail on a solid rock and staring down a drop thousands of feet deep with millions of years of geological history exposed.

I came here seeking God. A member of our family is going through a rough patch that felt quite overwhelming a few days ago and my wife needed to get to her happy place and this is it.

I’m also here seeking inspiration from God on my next step in life as taught most recently at bootcamp. I’m praying for connected-ness with God instead of treating Him as a cosmic vending machine for a list of orders but with no way to pay.

The message He is giving me is that He loves to create, and rather than give me some new opportunity He wants to create with me.

At first I thought this may be the wrong spot. The Grand Canyon is nothing without millions of years of destructive erosion. But this morning, as I sit perched on a rock at the end of a lookout point, I instead see millions and millions of years of sediment stacked one layer at a time and then the sculpting of wind, water, cold, and heat to carve away the miracle beneath.

All around the Grand Canyon is flat ground. What makes it amazing is the carving, sculpting, cracking, and weathering. It is the removal of what isn’t necessary that reveals what is inspiring and beautiful.

Not lost on me is the irony of my first name, Peter. In Greek, Πέτρος (Petros) means rock or stone. ‘A foundation’ is a common translation in the Christian world. What I see in the rock here today is what life clings to. Trees intertwining their roots into small crevasses. Small plants finding a way. Squirrels, insects, birds, and humans all exist here because of the rock left behind.

About 12 years ago, I canoed the Green river which leads into the Grand Canyon. The water is a murky brown-green and full of silt. To use it for drinking we had to let it sit for a long time and then use our filters for further refinement. That’s what the water looks like coming in. I haven’t seen the water coming out, but assume it is removing even more things as it goes through the Canyon, given the deep channels where the water has done its magic.

And so I return to the title. Addiction isn’t fun. It is baffling, confusing, and a misery for those it affects.

But in hindsight, I can see how the weathering in my life is leaving the essentials. And I find beauty in what has been constructed with all the carving away.

God, please continue to carve away that which is not necessary. I give everything and everyone to You to do as You will. I seek to create new beauty from ashes, and I trust You in that process in Jesus Name, amen.

By Pete, Writing Team