Ep 59: How to Make Repair with Daniel Burgess

In our world today there is a lot of violence: physically, emotionally, and spiritually. You see it almost everywhere. Too often our first reaction to harm or hurt is to put our dukes up and punch back or go running the other direction, fight or flight. Although both are generally good options for survival they aren’t always the best for recovery. One thing that many of us struggle with in recovery is being accountable and making repair. Saying a sincere “I’m sorry” is an important step. Beyond that is repair. This is where I make right the wrong, also known as step 9 if you’re working the 12 Steps.

Turns out, I am still actively working recovery and still struggle with many of the things we talk about here at Unashamed Unafraid. This episode is about repair that I needed to make with my now friend, Daniel Burgess. I made assumptions about Daniel and chose to take his episode down. His first response in an e-mail to me, not great. So Dukes up? Or should I ignore him and write him off as crazy or a jerk? Instead something amazing happened, repair. We both got curious and opened our hearts and here is what happened. I hope this episode inspires you to get curious where you may have been judgmental and make repair where needed because it was a beautiful experience for me and my new friend Daniel.

Steve
Rapper Host

Ep 58: Derek's Story: Climbing Out From Multiple Addictions

“Where the hell are you, God?”

This is a common question for those in pain and in the depths of struggle and darkness. Finding rock bottom can be a rough journey downward. The positive is that from rock bottom, one can only climb upward. The climb can be very difficult alone and is always easier with help from others.

The reason addictions develop is because people are trying to cope with painful wounds - wounds of neglect, wounds of betrayal, wounds of isolation. What starts out as innocently dabbling for relief can quickly spiral out of control and leave one saying “How did I get to this point in my life?” 

Our turning point is often a powerful, humbling, and vulnerable experience with God, who is there with open arms ready to help. Sometimes, it may take years to reach this turning point. It is only with His help that we can rise above, find sobriety, and become a renewed and different person being able to break the chains of the past.

Derek sits down with the Unashamed Unafraid team to share his very personal journey with addictions. He shares insight about his childhood, his early youth, and how certain experiences helped him initially brush the outskirts of addiction before more fully diving in. He speaks of his struggles with various addictions, and how he battled to find sobriety and recovery from each one. This listen is a very authentic and honest review of his life, his experiences, and how he found hope, and a relationship with God that has allowed for a brighter path in his life.

If this episode resonates with you, or you know someone who might benefit from it, please feel free to share the link to the episode with them. At Unashamed Unafraid, we are here to spread the words of hope and healing through Jesus Christ. Please subscribe and follow us on Facebook and Instagram @UnashamedUnafraid.

Ep 57: Life Beyond Recovery with Doug Nielsen

Life Beyond Recovery

Doug Nielsen

Have you ever heard the phrase once an addict, always an addict? I’ve certainly heard it during my lifetime. It is a creative bumper sticker to describe who you are—but is that truly who you are as a person? Chris, James, and Steve go on a journey with Doug Nielsen to find out what to do when you are wanting to take that next step, the step beyond recovery.

I know some of us who are struggling (or have struggled) with an addiction are thinking, “I can’t even fathom what life looks like without addiction.” Well, what we need is a new identity after recovery. When we are recovered, we need to know who we are. Doug says,

“It is impossible, over time, to behave differently than the way you see yourself. That is the governor of my behavior.” 

A lot of people who are struggling with addiction trade their true identities for the fake one that only focuses on the addiction. This is the way the enemy of our hearts works. The adversary wants to stifle our purpose in this life. He will attack the person who Heavenly Father sees in us.

In fact, Doug talks about a client who said that he did not know who he was. Doug told him that the man he saw in the 15 minutes they had been together was a man, who is loved, who is courageous, and who fights for the underdog. The words that describe a person are the reason for their existence, their purpose, and the larger story. 

The most important phrase that Christ said was “I am…” He described himself in powerful ways. So, how can we find out who we are? We must take a risk. Life is full of risks. We believe things through fear or faith. They both have the same definition. We believe in something that cannot be seen but will ultimately happen.

We must take life by the helm. This so happens to be the title of Doug’s book. Doug believes there are three things that we can do to jumpstart our progress into being recovered.

1. We must slow down. We can do the 4-4-8 breathing exercise. It only takes a few seconds and will help us calm down.

2. We need to listen. When we listen after we have slowed down, God will speak to us. He has a lot he wants to tell us. We have just taken that away from him by living a life at 64,000 RPMs. Our brains and bodies were not meant to live life that fast.

3. We must act on it. The third one is the hardest to do, we often find ourselves falling back into the same routines because they are comfortable.

There are great ways for us to listen. We must ask our friends, family, and Heavenly Father what three words describe us; our true selves. Then we take those three words and read them in the morning, throughout the day, and during the end of day evaluation. We think about those words constantly. We ask ourselves, “What examples of these words have I done today?” We will connect ourselves to these three words. If we take a 90 day challenge and apply these three words in our lives, we will become the three words. 

Bottom line, we must know our purpose. Doug ends by saying that we actually choose our purpose instead of discovering it. If this episode resonates with you, or you know someone who might benefit from it, please feel free to share the link to the episode with them. At Unashamed Unafraid, we are here to spread the words of hope and healing through Jesus Christ.  Please subscribe and follow us on Facebook and Instagram @UnashamedUnafraid.

Ep 56: Rob's Story

Rob’s Story

“Ultimate Poser”: That’s how Rob describes himself when he was at the height of his sexual addiction.  Take a listen as Steve and James start not at the beginning, but at the bottom of Rob’s story as he shares how working through fears and loss. Rob describes how ultimately his path led to him to discovering, not the guy not on either side of his poser life, but the third guy who God wanted him to be.  

Rob was married with three children, working as an employee of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  He felt he had a testimony of the gospel and thought he was connecting with his wife yet at the same time continued to act out in his sexual addiction. He and his wife had begun the road to recovery but Rob was not changing. The moment he was caught by the police when soliciting a prostitute brought him to his therapist’s door in the middle of one of his sessions. After waiting hours to talk to his therapist, Rob was told in his therapy session, “you can either change your life or you will end it, it’s your choice.”

Rob chose change. Deciding to be honest brought the realization of all of his fears.  In the aftermath, while sitting in his parents basement, he recognized he was still alive despite all of his pain. He somehow found the strength to ask, “What do I really believe in?”, “Who do I think I am?”, “What does God think of me?” and began to search for the answers.  

Rob shares a tender experience how he witnessed the pain his choices and actions had inflicted on his wife.  Rob has found sobriety. Yet his story shows us life in recovery is not black and white. Healing brought divorce, then dating, and ultimately a beautiful second marriage.  

On the other side of Rob’s poser life he speaks truth. With years of sobriety he has found a new purpose working as a therapist for Lifestar. Rob feels God has given him the gift to speak to the hearts of men about love and being worthy of God’s love.  

Does Rob’s story of his former poser life resonate with you?   If you or someone you know is struggling with a sex addiction, Unashamed Unafraid is the podcast and website for you!  Please visit our website at unashamedunafraid.com or look us up on social media @UnashamedUnafraid

Ep 55: Changing Our Default: Sam Teilemans

You may have heard the saying, “Once an addict always an addict.” But is it true? In the opinion of the UU crew, this statement is incongruent with Christ’s healing atonement. We believe that Christ can change people forever. Sometimes that change comes with the assistance of professional therapists and others, but ultimate healing is the work of Jesus Christ.

Sam Teilemans believes that the language we use is powerful. For example, he says that it may be more helpful to say, “I struggle with addiction or addictive behavior” rather than identify as an addict. Steve and Chris sit down with Sam Teilemans to discuss the power of language as well as how a person who is struggling with addictive cycles can be free of unwanted behaviors.

Sam’s therapeutic strategy involves working to remove shame from a person’s actions by asking questions about how they may have been feeling or “triggered” in a certain situation. This allows them to explore what lies beneath certain behaviors and possibly tap into subconscious emotions or thoughts.

Sam explains the importance of tapping into the subconscious because he believes, “The conscious mind is the goal-setter, and the subconscious mind is the goal-getter.” He believes that when we consciously focus on a goal, the subconscious mind can get on board with that and will help us achieve what we desire. But when we decide to stop focusing on the goal our subconscious mind goes back to the way things were before.

Since the subconscious mind drifts to what is natural, Sam works with his clients to figure out what their triggers are. Then he works to break default natural tendencies and reframe them so the subconscious has a new way of reacting toward what you are doing or experiencing. In this way, the subconscious carries out the goal of the conscious mind rather than working against it. This may be a new and different avenue of therapy for people to try who have struggled with addictive behaviors.

The subconscious work that Sam does with his clients also involves trusting in Jesus Christ. Trusting that Christ is there to save, not condemn, those in this struggle. Science and the mind whether it is conscious or subconscious can only get you so far. Christ can truly free us from the shame and the guilt that happens after we have fed the addiction beast. Please have a listen to this amazing episode.

If this episode resonates with you, or you know someone who might benefit from it, please feel free to share the link to the episode with them. At Unashamed Unafraid, we are here to spread the words of hope and healing through Jesus Christ. Please subscribe and follow us on Facebook and Instagram @UnashamedUnafraid.

Ep 54: Ashlee's Story

At Unashamed Unafraid we share real stories with you that prove sexual addiction has no bounds of age, background, or gender, and that recovery is possible for anyone.  Yes, women struggle too and here is more proof as Ashlee, our 2nd female to share on the podcast, opens up about her struggle with sexual addiction.  We invite you to listen as Steve and Chris challenge Ashlee to abandon her notes and go off-script, sharing her story Unashamed-style, from the heart. 

Ashlee discusses how her addiction to pornography began after her parents gave her a smart phone when she was 12.  She describes the shame she felt as she struggled to live up to the “perfect child” image her parents had of her as she was growing up. 

In the middle of her teen years her family moved from their farm and homeschool lifestyle to a neighborhood where Ashlee found herself adjusting to a traditional high school.  As she sought for ways to numb out she plunged deeper in her addiction to pornography and masturbation.  She kept this a secret from everyone until one day her cousin opened up about a struggle she was having and this opened the door for Ashlee to finally share about her addiction.  She talked with her bishop and began making lifestyle changes that helped her stop viewing pornography.  

However, about 6 months later, a surgery brought on new challenges for Ashlee in which she developed an eating disorder. Her desire to numb from her eating addiction drove her back to her pornography addiction.  

Overwhelmed and feeling alone Ashlee searched for anyone she could relate to but couldn’t find any women who were open about having similar struggles. In her search she found Collin Kartchner’s podcast where Ashlee first shared her story publicly.  From there she was able to share her story through multiple venues but she felt like a hypocrite as she still secretly struggled with masturbation.  

As Ashlee has come to understand God’s love for her, and as she has found other women who share similar struggles, she has started to find healing. 

Ashlee invites you to reach out to her through direct message on Instagram @ashleeayre.

Resources: Daughters of Light, https://lifechangingservices.online/daughtersoflight 

Has Ashlee’s story hit home for you?  If you or someone you know is struggling with a sex addiction, Unashamed Unafraid is the podcast and website for you!  Please visit our website at unashamedunafraid.com or look us up on social media @UnashamedUnafraid.

Episode 53: Humanity with Jennifer Finlayson-Fife

Honesty in Relationships with Jennifer Finlayson-Fife

Steve and James sit down with Jennifer Finlayson-Fife JFF and talk about what it means to be truly human; fully alive. Where does it all start? That dreaded word Honesty. Honesty is the foundation of being fully human and truly alive.

But why do we shy away from being fully human if that is what all of us want? Don’t we want to be seen for who we are? Do we want to be a part of the larger story? Do we want to become the person that is perfect?

Being perfect is not being human. JFF said, “I don’t blame us for wanting a world free of suffering. The path is not perfectionism. This will stunt our ability to become ‘Fully Human’. This (perfectionism) is in complete opposition to the definition of being human.”

Being human hurts. We see that from the example of the most human person ever to live, Jesus Christ. He was honest about everything in his life and yet people hated him for that. This is why most people decide to live in their own smaller story instead of God’s larger story. They don’t really want to be seen because it hurts too much. JFF says otherwise:

“There is nothing that makes a spouse safer than honesty. They may not trust you. But, the moment that you come clean and are completely honest, it is the most safe place in your marriage.”

When we let go of who we want people to think we are…perfect, we let go of the counterfeit self. We let go of the shame and guilt of not being able to live up to our (and other’s) expectations. We become fully human; seen, heard and loved. So, back to the question of should you be here? Does your life make a difference? Do you want to be fully seen and heard? The answer is a resounding

YES

JFF talks about so much more in this episode with Steve and James. You’ll love this episode. If you want more from JFF, please visit [Finlayson-Fife.com]. There are lots of resources for men and women. It is a self-paced course. She also has office hours and Facebook pages. This is a place with great support to other men and women as well. We also have scholarships for JFF’s courses:

The Art of Desire https://www.finlayson-fife.com/courses/course/the-art-of-desire and

The Art of Loving https://www.finlayson-fife.com/courses/course/the-art-of-loving

Go to unashamedunafraid.com/scholarships and apply for your scholarship TODAY!

If this episode resonates with you or you know someone who might benefit from it, please share the link to the episode with them. At Unashamed Unafraid, we are here to spread the words of hope and healing through Jesus Christ. Please subscribe and follow us on Facebook and Instagram @UnashamedUnafraid.

We are also a non-profit 501(c)(3) organization and have scholarships for those who can’t otherwise afford therapy, group therapy, A Warrior Heart Boot Camp, or the Heart of a Woman retreat. Please go to the website unashamedunafraid.com for more information on these scholarships and many other resources.

Ep 52: Cassy's Story

Cassy: It’s a Man’s Problem… Or Is It?

Is pornography addiction a man’s problem? Religious groups place emphasis and belief on this. In a sense, there is some truth with this mindset. Porn media starting in the 50’s was primarily developed for men. The ensuing decades followed suit, developing for, and catering to men. Pornography became part of the man’s world. 

Over the past few decades, the man’s world mindset has been slowly eroding. With this erosion, the porn industry has realized an untapped market share - women. Women are being pressured to view, escape into, and find comfort and self confidence with sexual content. The carefully crafted message is getting women hooked. 

Is pornography addiction still then solely a man’s problem? Absolutely not. Women are becoming addicted and having the same if not more difficult struggles with pornography addiction.

The expectation that this addiction is a man’s problem, or something that a future husband might struggle with, sets an unspoken expectation that women don’t and shouldn’t struggle with sexual addiction. This can be quite shaming to a woman who silently and painfully struggles. 

Cassy sits down with the Unashamed Unafraid team to share the story of her addiction struggle and gives incredible insight from a different perspective. Her journey out of isolation has been transforming and she has come to truly find and connect with God.

If this episode resonates with you, or you know someone who might benefit from it, please feel free to share the link to the episode with them. At Unashamed Unafraid, we are here to spread the words of hope and healing through Jesus Christ.  Please subscribe and follow us on Facebook and Instagram @UnashamedUnafraid.

EP 51: Q&A with Ms. Courtney Leak

Q&A with Courtney Leak, LCSW

James and Steve sit down with therapist Courtney Leak to dive into questions submitted by our listeners. As always, the questions are real, raw, and unashamed about sexual addiction, as are the answers discussed by Courtney, Steve, and James. Courtney pulls from over ten years of experience in helping people. Not only is she an experienced therapist, she co-hosts the mental health and wellness podcast “The Magic Well.” Courtney’s purpose and approach is fueled by her core belief that “Everyone is naturally equipped with what they need to find and meet their purpose.” She believes it is often hidden under fear, hurt, and negative views of themselves. “However, if people are willing to own their story, minus the fear and shame, they can embrace their true selves. They will live abundantly in their purpose.” Courtney uses this approach to lead a deep discussion about varying questions regarding many addiction-related topics. As always, these questions have come from listeners of Unashamed Unafraid. 

Do pornography use and anger have any connection? 

They absolutely have a connection. Anger going unaddressed can lead to rage. This is unhealthy anger and should be talked about and worked through. Oftentimes, there will need to be a therapist involved in this.

How can I support (in a healthy way) a potential spouse or partner if they begin to open up about their sexual addiction in the dating phase of our relationship? What pitfalls can I avoid there?

This is a great question. It is not anyone but the addict’s job to help them find recovery. You can support him/her, but can’t control him/her. Courtney calls the two approaches Intimate and Parentified relationships. Be careful of falling in love with potential. People don’t owe us a version of them that we want them to be. We are not guaranteed to grow and expand in the same direction.

Is it okay for me to be happy with progress even if I am still not 100% sober? Should I expect my spouse to recognize that progress?

Obviously, we all want to be on our “A” game all the time. However, we are human. We need to avoid abusing each other and work on ourselves. We also need to practice extending grace to ourselves and others. This is necessary to do the hard work to heal the wound. The addict needs to give their spouse space for their anger and pain.

I’m afraid of sharing about my relapses with the people closest to me. I’m afraid of what they will think. Will they treat me differently? How can I best handle accountability? How can I cope with the fear of abandonment?

We all need to be vulnerable with those closest to us. How we do that is by getting clear about the facts. If things are still difficult to disclose with your loved ones/religious community, find a group of others who you can share with openly without fear and shame.

Who is safe to share personal trials and struggles with? How do I know who to open up to about the most intimate things about us, and how can I do so in a way that is helpful and avoids damaging them or me?

One of the best ways that Courtney has found to deal with this is to speak from our scars, not our wounds. Maybe there is something holding us back that we need to look at and listen to. We need to go to our Father in Heaven and ask Him who is safe to share our innermost thoughts and feelings. We need to be okay with those answers we receive from Him. Don’t mix up the proximity or relationship with a person’s capacity.

If my spouse is refusing to be open with me and step into recovery, but I still want to stay married, what do I do?

If he doesn’t want to recover, he won’t. Do your own work and decide what you want to do. Figure out why this is such an issue for you and why his decisions are wrecking your life. Take care of yourself because you can’t control him. Ask yourself this question, “What is your boundary based on the other person’s truth?”

We hope you enjoyed this podcast. These are all real questions that most of us have struggled with. Courtney’s loving, yet completely straightforward, no-nonsense approach cuts straight to the heart of each of these questions. Her answers definitely help us dive deep into finding our answers. This podcast isn’t just about the answers, it is about how they are discussed. Courtney sets a strong example that we can all follow. She shows us how to talk about things that may be difficult or shameful for us. She steps into it willingly, embraces the hard, and leads us forward into vulnerability and healing.

If you or someone you know is struggling with a sex addiction, Unashamed Unafraid is the podcast and website for you. Please visit our website at unashamedunafraid.com or look us up on social media @UnashamedUnafraid. 

Resources:

• Podcast: 

  • The Magic Well - Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-magic-well/id1530276246 

EP:50 Fatherlessness with Rob Chidester

Fatherlessness

Fake it ‘til you make it. This is a common phrase many of us cling to when we are unsure of what we are doing. Be it a new job, being newly married, or trying to fix something, there is the hope that if we seem to know what we are doing, eventually we  really will know what we are doing. 

Steve, Chris and James sit down with Rob Chidester and talk about Fatherlessness. All of us are Fatherless in many ways as we come from imperfect earthly fathers who cannot father us all the ways we need to be fathered all the time. Rob is a therapist, but we know him from A Warrior Heart Boot Camp.  Rob is one of the founders of Warrior Heart and started the Boot Camp in 2009. 

We have a need to be mentored, guided or ‘fathered’ as we develop in our masculinity. Having help and guidance from someone who has walked the walk, is invaluable. 

A young man entering into manhood needs fathering. The phrase “It takes a village” is quite applicable in that masculine bestowal can come from one’s father, an uncle, a grandfather, or other men who can help guide, lend wisdom and experience as part of the initiation and transition into manhood. 

Without this guidance from fellow men, there is a tendency to become insecure in one’s masculinity, and the struggle of faking it until making it will ensue. Quite often, fatherlessness can trickle over into the realms of addiction. The subconscious need to fill the void or ease the pain becomes priority often leading to years of turmoil, struggle, and heartache.

Is all lost?   No.

There is hope. Our Father, God, can and will heal our masculine hearts. He will provide fathering so desperately needed. This is a process, but ultimately worth the journey. In this episode, Rob Chidester gives an in-depth plunge into Fatherlessness, and how to allow God’s help to heal.

If this episode resonates with you, or you know someone who might benefit from it, please feel free to share the link to the episode with them. At Unashamed Unafraid, we are here to spread the words of hope and healing through Jesus Christ.  Please subscribe and follow us on Facebook and Instagram @UnashamedUnafraid.

Ep 49: Max Lube

If you or someone you know is a single twenty-something-year-old who is battling a sexual addiction, Max’s story will hit home. His journey begins as a young boy when his childhood is cut short by the dissolution of his family and the ensuing aftermath. The wounds of his childhood are cut deeper by the loss of an intimate relationship and he plummets into a dark depression, with addiction as his only parachute. Eventually, he turns and faces the God that he had fled for so long and healing begins.

Max’s addiction began as a curiosity at ten years old after being exposed to pornography by his brother and cousin at a sleepover. Curiosity would quickly evolve into addiction as he suffered through trauma after trauma that would rob him of his childhood. In sixth grade, his parents separated. In seventh, his mother attempted suicide. In eighth, his parents divorced.

After enduring these painful experiences, Max set out to be the perfect child in an effort to prevent adding trouble to an already troubled family. Even in all of this, Max was baptized and confirmed in the Catholic church, yet felt that God was distant. His father had taught him that he had to earn everything in life, so why wouldn’t he have to earn God’s love?

Max saw a glimmer of hope while dating his girlfriend from high school into college - he opened up to her and started addressing the wounds of loss and betrayal from his childhood. While the relationship offered a safe space, it became very codependent. Max was thrown into a downward spiral when the relationship ended and entered what would be the height of his addiction. He fell into a deep depression to the point of suicidal thinking and acted out multiple times a day to numb the pain.

Healing began in the form of talks with his mother, who guided him out of the dark place where she had once been. He began attending the Catholic church where he felt loved and accepted unconditionally. His vulnerability and courage led him to a few other men in his congregation who were seeking sobriety. Ultimately, Max courageously formed his own band of brothers who are fighting for recovery together. 

Max now sees God as a “passionate lover”, to use the words of John Eldredge. He finds himself praying constantly and invites God into every moment. He sees now that whenever he was surfing the internet for porn, he was really “surfing for God”, and that God was searching for him all along. For those single 18-22 year-olds doubting if they can follow Max’s path, he says “God will reward you for your courage. Find your own band of brothers and start recovery together.”

Resources:

• Books

  • Wild at Heart by John Elderidge (ever heard of it?)

  • Surfing for God: Discovering the Divine Desire Beneath Sexual Struggle by John M. Cusick

• Groups: make your own “Band of Brothers!”

• Song: “Love Broke Thru” - Toby Mac

Ep 48: With the Dating Divas

Have you ever wondered how to romance and date your wife? Have you forgotten how? We all know the joke, “What is the thing that makes a woman’s libido disappear?” Wedding Cake. Insert Laugh here. But romance also goes out the window when a man gets married too. Most guys struggle with romancing their wives. Well, you are in luck! Unashamed Unafraid interviewed two of the women, Heather (Site Director) and Becca (Vice President) from The Dating Divas. 

Heather and Becca help run the website www.thedatingdivas.com. This is a perfect website for all couples. It helps you figure out how to get creative and romantic with your dates. Guys, have you forgotten that we need to continue dating our wives after we get married?  So many of us have forgotten how to date.  We just think a dinner and a movie is good enough, if we even get that far. No shame if you are in that same boat. The Dating Divas have a way for there to be fun and excitement in your relationships again. 

Heather and Becca express the need for connection. Most women (not all) connect when a husband thinks about them. Heather and Becca suggest doing simple things at first to gain that connection with her. Some examples are texting your wife just saying you are thinking about her. Heather suggested buying her a single rose 12 days in a row instead of a bouquet of flowers. Simple, but can definitely mean a lot to them. 

I have pulled out the old romance swagger a time or two during my marriage; however, definitely not enough. I have written notes on post-its and stuck them all over the house for my wife to find. The Dating Divas talk about many of their ideas too. Doing these small gestures of thoughtfulness, leads to a stronger connection with your spouse.

It tells your wife that you are in it for more than just sex. You are in it to make her happy and you are fighting for her heart. Plus, it is a lot of fun to see her reaction. The Dating Divas aren't just about romantic ways to surprise your wife, it is about fun and different date ideas. I for one have a hard time coming up with something other than dinner and a movie. 

When we as addicts are in our addiction, we cannot feel, let alone hope to be able to connect with our spouses. This is one way that may be able to help pull ourselves out of the addiction cycle. This will help us stop thinking about ourselves and make “real” connections with real people who love us. 

Heather and Becca give a lot of great ideas of how to be creative. The products and services they have on their website are not very expensive at all and they have a TON of Freebies. Plus, they are giving our listeners and Outsiders an opportunity for some free items.  You just have to listen to the entire podcast for details. 

We hope you enjoyed this podcast. This was a different way of looking at ways to attack the addiction through real connection and selfless acts of service. If you or someone you know is struggling with a sex addiction, Unashamed Unafraid is the podcast and website for you. Please visit our website at unashamedunafraid.com or look us up on social media @UnashamedUnafraid. Also you will receive a 5 dollar gift card - From The Dating Divas HERE: https://www.thedatingdivas.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/7-Days-of-Love-Free-Program-PLUS-Coupon.pdf

Resources:

• Website: 

  • www.thedatingdivas.com 

  • www.unashamedunafraid.com

Ep 47: Polygraphs with Jared Rockwood

Liar, Liar pants on fire! Do you remember saying that as kids to each other? Well, Jared Rockwood sure does because he is a professional polygraph tester. You may also ask, “Why are you having a polygraph tester on this podcast?” Have you ever wondered how it works? Are movies correct? Jared talks about how it works, what it is supposed to accomplish, what questions should be asked and more. Relax, he is not going to do a polygraph on air and with any audience members. What will he do? Find out what it is really like to be polygraphed.

Sway and Rachel have been going to Jared Rockwood from Intermountain Polygraph for almost three years now. They are both very in favor of this. Why did they start going to Jared? 

Rachel actually wanted to see if it was safe for their kids for Sway to be alone with them. She specifically wanted to know if he was viewing child porn or had done anything like that in his addiction. Rachel was considering divorce and wanted to make sure that Sway was safe. Which is why Rachel was the one who came up with questions to ask Sway.

At the appointment, Jared sits down with the one being polygraphed and talks to him/her about the questions that will be asked. He spends a total of two to three hours with the interviewee. During the interview, Jared asks all the questions several times, in different ways. “Repetition gives statistical power.” Rockwood commented.

When he is finished asking questions, he then collects all of the data and sends his interpretation of the data to the therapist. The therapist works through the data with Sway and Rachel. This is meant to happen. It can be very dangerous and reckless, for the therapist just to hand over the data to the couple and let them work through it. So, how accurate is the polygraph versus therapists?

Jared mentioned that polygraphs done correctly are 93 percent accurate with a 15 percent error rate - or false positive. Therapists on average are 54 percent accurate. Which one will you believe? Jared, Sway and Rachel all believe that when a polygraph test is done correctly for the right intent, it is a way for everyone to win. For more information about Jared and Intermountain Polygraph, please go to intermountainpolygraph.com or call (801) 960-6480.

We at Unashamed Unafraid are so thankful for people like Jared. He truly is a warrior striving to build up those around him and bring them into the light through his services. If this episode resonates with you, or you know someone who might benefit from it, please feel free to share the link to the episode with them. At Unashamed Unafraid, we are here to spread the words of hope and healing through Jesus Christ. Please subscribe and follow us on Facebook and Instagram @UnashamedUnafraid.

Ep 46: Unashamed for the New Year 2021

Unashamed Unafraid 

The New Year 2021 Edition

Unashamed Unafraid has taken on a few new faces this year. The newcomers are Sway and Rachel, and AZ Cory. We were able to continue to spread this message of hope, love, healing, and faith in Christ, even with COVID. We became a non-profit organization to be able to help people fight through healing from sex addiction. 

We were able to give out a lot of money last year to help those with the donations from the UU Outsiders. Thank you so very much! Once COVID restrictions are lifted, we will be able to help even more people because of the generous donations. Our listeners’ lives are not the only lives that are affected.

We also went through a lot of changes personally this year. So, we asked ourselves several questions about this year:

What type of animal would you describe this year as? 

What was your favorite episode? 

Also, will we be doing more events like the live zoom Q&A?

We will actually be doing more of them. We just have not figured out how many yet. We will also be introducing new bonus content. We will be reviewing four books this year and talking about them in our bonus content. We have not chosen the books yet, so stay tuned.

How do I become an Outsider you ask? Subscribe to our podcast and go to https://unashamedunafraid.com/donate.  This is how you can get even more great content this year. We really appreciate all our listeners, outsiders and free subscribers. 

This podcast is truly more for us than it is for our listeners. Yet, our listeners seem to like what they are hearing. We know that it gives a lot of us who are struggling with addiction or even betrayal trauma some perspective on sexual addiction and how to find healing and strength through Jesus Christ. We look forward to another adventurous year. Thanks for listening and donating.