Learning to Anchor - Learning to Let Go

If you have a child going into Middle School this year - and especially if it is your first - you are likely in for an emotional roller coaster ride. In my experience - and I’ve had a lot of it - in one moment he or she will be clingy, only in the next moment to not want to be seen near you at the bus stop or at a store or anywhere.

This morning, my daughter told my wife she didn’t want her to walk her to the bus stop, which my wife is trying not to let hurt her feelings, and in the next moment, she and I had this exchange: 

“Daddy …”
“Yes?”
“I love you!”

Within minutes, she both wanted my wife to trust her and give her some slack - and then, contrarily, also wanted to anchor to me and be assured of my acceptance and love. 

I see God smiling in Heaven during these moments. 

How often have I thrown myself down at His feet begging and pleading for connection or peace, or a particular blessing, only to then turn to social media or food, or another vice, essentially drop-kicking Him to the curb?

It is my experience to enjoy the anchoring moments with my daughter. Lean in when she wants to connect. And then - as hard as it is - provide a lot of slack in the emotional tether the next moment so she can go and explore and find out who she is.

But when she is open to it, I have to consciously be present in that moment. This may mean stopping whatever I’m doing. Not in an unhealthy, “I don’t have any boundaries” way - but in a “she is growing up fast and not going to be under my roof forever, I’m going to soak this up right now because I’ll need the emotional resiliency later” kind of way.

And this reminds me to check in with my own Father often. If He fills my emotional needs, then I do not have hunger or an unscratchable itch that I am tempted to satiate with things that don’t leave me feeling better about myself.