It’s Time to Fall In Love Again - With Yourself - Part 2

In recovery from addiction, I learn that acting out isn’t the real problem. It is just a symptom of shame and believing that I’m not worthy of true, deep, endless, undying, eternal love.

The dam broke when I was at a ‘A Warrior Heart’ Bootcamp years ago, and the session opened by playing Graham Cook’s The Inheritance YouTube clip:

“The Lord says that there is nothing
That you can do that would make him love you more
There is also nothing you can do to make Him love you less
He loves you because he loves you
Because he loves you, because he loves you
Because he loves you, because he loves you
…
Because that is what He is like
It is His nature to love, and you will always be the beloved.”

God loves me 100%. Not because - or when - I am good. But because HE IS GOOD.

God so loved the world that He created it and sent His Son.

If He is Love and He is Good and He created me, then I have all the potential of being Good and being Loved (aka: Beloved).

The pivot in my life began when I started praying to see myself as God sees me. He loves me and sees my potential because He is Love. And when I step into His Love, then I can feel forgiven, put my past behind me, and move into my future.

Revelations 12:10
“For the accuser of our brothers and sisters, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down.”

Those voices in my head that I’m not lovable are real, but they are a lie and a false judgment. If I let them affect me, the enemy of my soul doesn’t have to do anything else to defeat me because I am too busy defeating myself.

God loves you because He loves you. Because He is love.

I invite you to believe that you can believe it.

I close in prayer -
“God, open my eyes. Give me Your eyes to see me as You see me. Give me Your heart to love me as You love me. Give me Your grace to forgive myself as You have forgiven me. Give me Your amnesia to remember my sins no more as You have forgotten my sins. And help me to do the same and see others as You see me. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

By Pete, Writing Team

Let Them and Letting God

Popular podcaster, mental health advocate, and author Mel Robbins has shared the advice that when we are getting wound up about not being included by someone else, or we want to control someone in a situation, that the fastest, happiest path is to instead “let them” do/be/act as they intend.

As a father of seven, I had to “let go” a lot after raising my oldest four children, and my younger three seem a lot less anxious and a lot more confident so far. I don’t have conclusive evidence that it works, but I do have a lot of anecdotal evidence and hope that it will.

In Step 4, we take a personal inventory of impactful and traumatic events in our life, we examine what part we had to play - if any - in what occurred. My first few go arounds were admittedly very traumatic. But later passes with more experienced sponsors became empowering.

I accepted where I couldn’t have done anything different given the set of circumstances and experiences. And then I let go of it and gave it to God. In a sense I “let them” and left things in the past where they belong.

One act of surrendering to God is letting others be. To accept the things we cannot change but to work to change the things we can.

I’m challenging myself and inviting you to examine stressful situations and feelings of exclusion and let others do as they may without letting it get under your skin.

AA Big Book page 86:

In thinking about our day we may face indecision. We may not be able to determine which course to take. Here we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision.

We relax and take it easy.

We don’t struggle. We are often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried this for a while.

By Pete, Writing Team

It's time to Fall in Love Again

I am related to an amazing woman. She gives and gives and serves and serves until there is nothing left. If you need something, she is on it. She puts others' needs first, always.

However … when someone pays her a compliment, she recoils and downplays her contribution.

A wise man once told me, “If I give you a $1 compliment, don’t give me back $2.50 in change.”

My refusal to give others the grace of heartfelt praise of me arises from a deeper decay of self-worth.

However … when someone pays her a compliment, she recoils and downplays her contribution.

I pray she can fall in love.

I pray she can fall in love with herself.

I can relate to those needs because they have been a huge part of my story. My refusal to give others the grace of heartfelt praise of me arises from a deeper decay of self-worth.

By God’s grace, I was put into a pilot class my freshman year called “Principles of Inner Victory.” The semester requirement was to listen to many hours of the greats - Wayne Dyer, Zig Ziglar, Dale Carnige, Tony Robbins, and many others.

Over and over and over again, the message was delivered - “you've got this. Everything you need comes from within.” And I’ve since learned this is because God created me and blessed me with His power.

It would take a few more decades to believe I could be good enough and a lot of work to let go of shame and to uncover the godliness in my DNA out there by ABBA, Papa, King of the Universe, my Heavenly Dad who is so full of Love that He IS LOVE.

My professor, David A. Christensen had a second homework assignment requiring us to develop a QLA - quiet love affair - with ourselves.

I was required to write the letters “QLA” on a sticky note and place it on my bathroom mirror and stare at it and into my own eyes, and recite each morning that I am worth loving.

It seemed so odd. So self-aggrandizing. So self-promoting.

But I can’t truly love anyone if I don’t love myself. Christ’s greatest commandment is to love. Love God and - love others AS I Love Myself.

I’ve intentionally skipped over addressing my first paragraph until this point. I couldn’t have healthy boundaries with others until I started loving myself. My lack of boundaries was seeking acceptance from others, then overextending myself, feeling resentful, failing to complete commitments, giving up, and starting all over again.

I challenge you to fall more deeply in love with yourself - acknowledging the goodness God has poured into you!

When you get a compliment, praise God and thank Him that you are in a place to bless others. And respond to the person with a simple, “Thank you for that. I love you.”

By Pete, Writing Team