The Band
/I am blessed to belong to a Band of Brothers…actually to more than one. But what exactly is this Band? What does it look like? What does it feel like to be a part of one? It’s certainly not a marching band, because I don’t play an instrument. It’s not a rock band, because I do not sing well at all, although I love to. I sing in church, but try to keep the volume down. But in the car, when “Grace Got You” is playing, I’m singing at the top of my lungs! Anyway…a Band of Brothers is much more like a wedding band.
There is no beginning and there is no end. One part of that band is no more important than any other part. It’s strong. It’s continuous. And above all it’s beautiful!
My Band of Brothers are the many men I’ve met in recovery groups and 12 step meetings. We have shared stories and phone numbers. Another Band are the Brothers in Christ I attend church with each week. I know they have my back, and I have theirs. Many of them know my story and they still love me… Imagine that! Another Band, which is so beautiful and strong, is the Band of Brothers from the Warrior Heart Boot Camps I’ve attended. Wonderfully imperfect men, searching for that larger story God has for them. Willing men. Loving men. And I have a Band…a Bond…with the other men who are alumni of the rehab center I spent ninety days at in St. George, Utah. We speak the same recovery language and have had many shared experiences. We have a Zoom meeting every Wednesday, as well as alumni retreats, and there is incredible support and love and a shared understanding in that group as well.
Here is what I know…recovery cannot and will not happen in a vacuum. Recovery does not happen alone, but only in company with other people. Recovery…genuine, continuing recovery…requires the support of others and requires the hard work of listening, sharing, loving and supporting. As I share my story and my struggles and my successes and, yes, my joy with others, I experience grace and power to continue to move forward. And as I am open to actively listening, learning, loving and supporting others on this path, I am equally blessed. Maybe more so. I learn to allow others the opportunity to serve and bless my life as I serve and bless theirs. There is true joy in this process as I feel their love and grace and as I give love and grace freely to them.
I’ve learned that there is power in my story, and there is power in yours. We each have a story, and the power only manifests itself when it is shared. There will be times in your recovery journey when you’ll feel the prompting to share your story with someone else. Sometimes that can be scary, but as we do some of that we let go of the shame and regret and begin to understand that our recovery is all about going forward, not backward.
It’s been said over and over that the opposite of addiction is connection…and that is absolutely true. Let go of the fear. Let go of the shame. Go out and find your Band of Brothers. You are a powerful creator, and with the Father’s help, you will find those men. They are all around you and they are just waiting to listen, love, and support you…in all your messiness. In all your successes. In all your difficulties. In all your new found joy. They will be there for you! It just takes some effort, some honesty, some willingness, and some prayer. But you will always find what you are looking for. Get busy looking for connection and you’ll find it. And you’ll experience blessings never imagined!
What now?
Be open to connection. Look for the opportunity, and pray for the opportunity. Our Father created us for community and if we ask Him and also work at it, He will bless us with community. He has put so many incredible people in my recovery path, and He will do the same for you. But…you must ask Him, and you must get out of your house and give Him the chance to do that for you.
Be at church. Shake hands. Introduce yourself to fellow worshipers you may not know.
Surprise someone with a hug.
Attend 12 step meetings and be open and honest there. Stay afterwards and meet someone with whom you can share your story.
Attend Warrior Heart Boot Camp and when you’re there talk, share, and listen to the other men. Guess what? They need you as much as you need them.
By Chris Epson