How to get the Band Together – Establishing Your Own Band of Brothers
/I just got back from a Warrior Heart Bootcamp in Williams, Arizona where I experienced again an almost instant connection with 100 men. I probably knew about two dozen of them prior to the event but was able to get to know a lot more in rapid succession.
I’m from New Jersey where the common phrase of “how-you--doin’” is a regular question to which I often replied “I’m fine.” Outside of my LDS friends, the follow-up question was often “what the ‘F’ does that mean?!?” Matthew West’s song “Truth be Told” was written in part because he found out people who said they were “fine” on Sunday were actually going through a personal hell the rest of the week.
I’ve learned that these two questions have a lot more sincerity and meaning:
When meeting someone for the first time, ask “what makes your heart come alive?”
For someone I know well, “how is your heart today?”
Establishing a BoB (Band of Brothers) like everything else in life is an iterative process in my experience. It starts with one person and then expands with time, with some people dropping out and other new people joining in.
I have well over 100 contacts on my phone from people I’ve met in 12-Step meetings, former sponsors and sponsees, and others over 15 years. Some won’t reply when I reach out but I keep them in there as I never know when I might be inspired to reach back again and they may be ready to re-engage.
What Now?
Begin by praying for people in your life.
Invite someone to lunch.
Depending on how much time you have, send a text when someone comes to mind immediately or call them if you have more time.
Reach out regularly as you feel inspired.
“Relax and take it easy” … you will be surprised how the right answers come after doing this for a while (AA Big Book page 86-87).
By Pete, Writing Team