God only knows what I don’t know

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By 6:30 am today there had already been a bit of drama. I trusted - against my better judgment - a certain airline to get me from Tucson to Phoenix to Salt Lake.

This airline has canceled or delayed the Tucson to Phoenix flight many times in the past, but I thought “maybe this time will be different…”. My prayers yesterday and this morning were that all would be well. My daughter woke up at 4:45 to take me to the airport, and as we pulled up to the terminal, I got the dreaded flight cancellation notice.

Adapt and overcome.

But wait, I’d prayed for this flight to happen. I had faith. I felt at peace. Why wasn’t it going the way I had planned and wanted?!?

I got in an Uber for the drive to Phoenix at great cost but I really need to be in Salt Lake today to pick up a car to drive back to Tucson and everything hinges on this plan working!

I called the airline to make sure they were keeping a seat for me on the Phoenix to Salt Lake flight only to be told that flight was also just canceled.

I instructed the very patient Uber driver to take me home instead (poor lady just lost out on two really large fares) but then felt inspired to check an airline I haven’t flown for some time, and they had a seat leaving in 30 minutes. Quick change again back to the airport.

So now I’m going to end up arriving about the same time and for the same cost after I get refunded my original fare.

Life doesn’t always have the intended happy endings. My inconveniences this morning pale in comparison to what You and others are likely going through.

For example, two friends have recently lost their babies. One was alive for just over an hour. Their third child. The other friends are a young couple excited to start their family when their set of twins - who were on track for a healthy delivery - died suddenly before being born.

God only knows what we go through. He doesn’t always prevent bad things from happening, but His end goal is set - He loves You and wants a relationship with You and is looking forward to having You return to Him.

In little things - and big things - I have been able to find purpose in the suffering as well as pleasure after painful times and seasons of life.

During a very intense and painful period of life about two years ago, the inspiration came to me - “There is no crisis or panicking in Heaven.”

And this morning I was reminded to relax and take it easy. Things will work out - perhaps not always as intended or planned. God is full of surprises and as I’ve learned to let go and focus on finding joy in the journey instead of frustration when things don’t go my way, I have marveled to see how He makes things work out.

What next?

  • Where are You trying to control life instead of letting go and letting God take the wheel?

  • Who is suffering and needs a friend? If it is You, who does God have prepared to help lift You up?

By Pete, Writing Team

The Plan

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On my recovery journey, God and my Support Systems (recovery groups, family/friends, therapy) are the VIPs at the party. But there are other guests that deserve some spotlight. In this post, I'd like to spotlight my day-to-day sobriety plan. I'm no recovery guru, but what follows is a light-hearted summary of a plan that's been - in one form or another - my partner-in-crime during my somewhat successful recovery journey.

Surrender
The first thing planned for the day is to surrender it to the Big Guy upstairs. I verbalize my worries and excitements of the day, giving them and their outcomes a one-way ticket to God's inbox. Then, I get curious to see how God and I will show up for them.

Peace
It's vital to keep my serenity intact. The news and most social media are not invited to the party. Peace is my plus one while drama sulks at the velvet rope.

Planning & Celebration
Something to look forward to turns out to be one of the most effective tools in the box so I bust out the confetti cannons to celebrate the Larger Story, Adventure, and Beauty time rockin' my calendar. And at least once a week, I prioritize whipping up some new plans to keep the calendar fresh. Oh, and an honorable mention: taking a stroll down memory lane with some epic past events!

Awareness
Let's talk triggers and warning signs. I've developed personal definitions for both that I frequently review. Triggers are anything that sparks things like lust, anxiety, anger or tiredness. Warning signs are sirens that signal trouble like changes in my mood, rationalization and secrecy. Reviewing these definitions shines an often deadly spotlight on the drama queens in my head.

Emergency Plan
Finally, I have an emergency plan for when I've crossed the line into dangerous territory. When the party is dying, I dive into my food addiction for just enough self-medicating to regain some sanity (it's like the unexpected dance move that saves the day). And then, it's a whirlwind of reaching out to God and my support squad, getting some adventure (motorcycle riding for me), serving someone and soaking in some Beauty time.

While the main stage belongs to God and my Support Systems, my plan can be like a secret weapon. It's a partner that keeps me on my toes, ready for whatever curveballs life throws my way.

What's Next

  • Dust off your own plan if you have one. Some tools might be begging for a makeover.

  • If you're plan-less, prayerfully put on your thinking cap and design one that suits you.

  • Consider also developing a Rebound plan full of honesty, sanity and self-compassion.

  • Get out on the dance floor! If it's not fun, are we doing it right?

By Ty, Writing Team



Releasing the Pain of Shame

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One of the biggest stumbling blocks of my recovery and relationship with God is understanding the difference between guilt and shame.

Guilt is knowing I’ve done something wrong and it dulls my ability to feel the promptings of the Holy Spirit of God. It is my innate connection with Christ having a separation because I am pursuing my own selfish desires instead of surrendering them to Him.

Shame is an inside job and the best tool the adversary has at his disposal. Shame says, “You did something bad, so you are bad and unlovable.”

So simple to write out. Such a powerful and destructive reality in my life at many times.

So how do I let it go?

I work on my relationship with God as a loving and caring Father. He loves me unconditionally. No matter what. In sin. Out of sin. When I am seeking Him. When I am not seeking Him. My efforts and abilities cannot – and do not – affect His love for me. For God IS LOVE. All the time and everywhere and in every circumstance. My actions don’t change His love for me.

God the Father’s ultimate love for me is in Jesus Christ and the sacrifice He made for me. There is a debt in each of our lives and no effort is able to pay it off. Christ took it all on and owns it and it is His. I can’t reclaim it. I can’t pay it down. It is there, but it isn’t mine.

Romans 5:12-18 (ESV) “But the free gift is not like the trespass. For if many died through one man’s trespass, much more have the grace of God and … those who receive the abundance of grace and the free gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man Jesus Christ.”

My only job is to believe it and accept it. And often the accepting comes before the believing.

Shame tells me I am not good enough, I am not worthy of love. And it is a liar.

I pray, “Father, thank You for loving me. I do not feel worthy of that love but I know that doesn’t change the fact that You Love me! Help me to see myself as You see me. Please open my eyes to see others as You see them, especially those who have despitefully used me. I surrender myself to You Father. I surrender my fears, my insecurities, my mistrusts, and all of me. Show me the next step I can take to serve You by serving others.”

An intuitive thought comes. A face, a name, a situation. And I take action. My shame is surrendered and I move forward feeling lighter and relieved of the burden of my sins as I rejoice and live in Christ.

What now?

  • When I’m feeling down and out, I Google “the inheritance by Graham Cooke” and listen to it regularly.

  • Reach out to others and serve. Nothing quells the feelings of “I’m no good” like being with good people and serving them.

  • Listen to our podcasts and participate in the stories of those who thought they were lost only to be found.

By Pete, Writing Team