Releasing the Pain of Shame

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One of the biggest stumbling blocks of my recovery and relationship with God is understanding the difference between guilt and shame.

Guilt is knowing I’ve done something wrong and it dulls my ability to feel the promptings of the Holy Spirit of God. It is my innate connection with Christ having a separation because I am pursuing my own selfish desires instead of surrendering them to Him.

Shame is an inside job and the best tool the adversary has at his disposal. Shame says, “You did something bad, so you are bad and unlovable.”

So simple to write out. Such a powerful and destructive reality in my life at many times.

So how do I let it go?

I work on my relationship with God as a loving and caring Father. He loves me unconditionally. No matter what. In sin. Out of sin. When I am seeking Him. When I am not seeking Him. My efforts and abilities cannot – and do not – affect His love for me. For God IS LOVE. All the time and everywhere and in every circumstance. My actions don’t change His love for me.

God the Father’s ultimate love for me is in Jesus Christ and the sacrifice He made for me. There is a debt in each of our lives and no effort is able to pay it off. Christ took it all on and owns it and it is His. I can’t reclaim it. I can’t pay it down. It is there, but it isn’t mine.

Romans 5:12-18 (ESV) “But the free gift is not like the trespass. For if many died through one man’s trespass, much more have the grace of God and … those who receive the abundance of grace and the free gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man Jesus Christ.”

My only job is to believe it and accept it. And often the accepting comes before the believing.

Shame tells me I am not good enough, I am not worthy of love. And it is a liar.

I pray, “Father, thank You for loving me. I do not feel worthy of that love but I know that doesn’t change the fact that You Love me! Help me to see myself as You see me. Please open my eyes to see others as You see them, especially those who have despitefully used me. I surrender myself to You Father. I surrender my fears, my insecurities, my mistrusts, and all of me. Show me the next step I can take to serve You by serving others.”

An intuitive thought comes. A face, a name, a situation. And I take action. My shame is surrendered and I move forward feeling lighter and relieved of the burden of my sins as I rejoice and live in Christ.

What now?

  • When I’m feeling down and out, I Google “the inheritance by Graham Cooke” and listen to it regularly.

  • Reach out to others and serve. Nothing quells the feelings of “I’m no good” like being with good people and serving them.

  • Listen to our podcasts and participate in the stories of those who thought they were lost only to be found.

By Pete, Writing Team