Micro-trauma
/Recently, my wife discovered that our teenager's playlists were seasoned with explicit music and asked if I could have a chat with her. I can't say I was delighted, but I accepted the challenge. Then, I remembered facing off with my own parents over this very issue and hesitated. As a teen, I defended my music as a coping mechanism that didn't leave any lasting scars and highlighted that high school sounded just like it. I wasn't entirely wrong, but as a parent, I had to think it through a little more.
As I thought through the situation, the term "micro-trauma" came to mind. A quick search revealed it refers to subtly hurtful interactions like the cold shoulder, offhanded insults, or being interrupted. The suggested remedy is to cry 'foul' - call it out, nip it in the bud, and seek professional help if prolonged exposure makes it necessary.
My mind wandered further down this path and other memories surfaced - reading graphic historical accounts of torture at an impressionable age, an obsession with books on the holocaust in college, years tuned into fear-mongering talk radio, and an insatiable appetite for the news.
None of these activities are inherently bad and I could defend them with logic akin to my teenage self’s defense of explicit music: no harm done in the long run and staying informed is important. But with the micro-trauma concept playing in my mind, I had to wonder if there wasn’t a cumulative effect that influenced my emotional state and view of the world. And could it even have played a part in my compulsive behaviors by contributing to the anxiety and pain I was running from?
In recent years, I've grappled with the realization that I approach the world from a position of fear, assuming the worst, easily becoming alarmed, experiencing frequent nightmares, and avoiding opportunities that make me nervous but shouldn't. And of course, I tend to easily lose hope and cope in unhealthy ways. While larger traumas explain some of this, I couldn't help but wonder if accumulated micro-trauma played a role.
The conversation with my daughter is looming. Her ability to consider her seemingly distant future is limited by her age, so I think I'm going to approach it from the 'I' and talk about how I've decided to cry 'foul' - limit my consumption of influences that may negatively impact my outlook and consider bringing it up with a professional. Something makes me think it's going to pay dividends and brings on a smile.
What next?
Assess your interactions with other people for micro-trauma.
Evaluate your life for accumulating influences that might be stealing your joy.
Find remedies for what you discover and enjoy a brighter outlook.
By Ty, Writing Team