Progress Over Perfection
/“We can trust the process. It’s not a process of beeline perfection. It’s a process of learning by our own experience the good from the evil. It isn’t how many times we fall down that counts. It’s how many times we get up.” - Coleen Harrison
Years ago I was in a recovery meeting bemoaning my recent relapses in judgment and action. I compared life to hiking Mount Everest and having to start all over again at the bottom of the mountain. Randy, our group leader, became very intense and passionate and, full of love and compassion, begged us to never feel that way.
“When you fall, just stand up and keep on moving forward. If you need a minute to dust yourself off, take it, but never stop moving forward.”
More and more I am realizing that mistakes in life do not mean a helicopter comes and plucks me off the proverbial mountain of life, taking me back to sea level to start all over again. Mistakes just happen as part of the refining process.
One of my favorite YouTube shorts lately shows the woodworking process of using a lathe to turn an impossibly large tree trunk taken from the base where the roots begin in a mangled mess and turning it into a beautiful vase or stand.
The process requires some pretty heavy cutting at first, and then some pretty serious knocks of a massive blade as the chunk of wood awkwardly spins around until finally at the end the woodworker is using sandpaper and then a cloth with oil to finish off a wonderful creation.
Many times life can feel like I’m at the ax and chainsaw phase of shaping me into a better man. But lately I have also had glimpses of my potential shining through and the course corrections are more subtle.
Two weeks ago my Unashamed Unafraid podcast interview episode aired to the world. My flaws are there. Exposed and raw. Things I worked my whole life to keep a secret for decades I now lay bare and surrender to Jesus to heal me and help me to learn from my darkest moments how to love others and have compassion for them and to accept His compassion and grace for me.
My mess becomes His message of healing. My story is redeemed by His Glory.
We recorded the episode in March. It aired in late November because of a healthy backlog of other recorded episodes. What struck me the most is how much personal growth I’ve had in that timeframe. When I previewed the episode with my parents the week before it went live I was tempted to call Steve and James and tell them we need to scrap it and record again. So much has changed in the eight months of time.
Similarly, I’ve gotten to know other guests who went through the same process. I’ve been able to see their massive growth since their episode was recorded and aired. I’ve been privileged to see glimpses of “the rest of the story.”
The main change for me is in how my wife and I are getting along now. My focus is on honesty and being vulnerable. In relationships with others, I’m reaching out more. I’m more consistent in doing good things.
Progress over perfection is a mantra I have to repeat to myself over and over and over again. And now I’m loving the process - admittedly more so in retrospect than in the trenches of daily living. But I can see the growth and it is exciting to realize I’m at least on the right path and can celebrate forward movement and have grace for myself when I slip or fall.
At times the stumbles may be down a steep cliff. But I’m still on the mountain! I encourage you and myself to keep standing up, dust yourself off, and keep climbing! And by all means, don’t do it alone!
My episode can be found here. In the bonus content for our Outsiders group, I dive more into my journey of finding brotherhood. Find out how to join our Outsiders group by clicking here for as little as $1 or whatever you want to give to help others find hope and healing in recovery.
What Next?
Reach out. We die alone. Yes it’s hard, yes it probably hasn’t worked in the past. I’ve been there and it took a lot of perseverance with some failure sprinkled in for good measure. But it made all the difference.
Focus on your recovery journey. If that means attending a 12-step group, getting a sponsor, working a different kind of group with a therapist or 1-1 one counseling with a licensed counselor or clergy leader, all the above have helped me a lot!
Attend a boot camp. Most of our senior staff and many Outsiders and guests of the show are there. Find out more here.
By Pete, Writing Team