EP 223: Live Unashamed - Recovery Check-in

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In this episode, James, Sam, Joshua, and Mason sit down for a follow-up on the commitments they made in past episodes (EP 151: Filling the Void of Addiction and EP 193: How Can I Trust God?). They dive open-honestly into what accountability actually looks like in practice—from putting software on phones to actively battling for true brotherhood and moving away from transactional faith to find God directly in the present moment and pain.

Timestamps:
01:29 James’s update (Revisiting EP 151)
03:20 Healthy accountability vs. using tools to bypass inner healing
05:10 Proud of the journey: Overcoming the nonchalance and habit of slip-ups after 13 years
06:50 Sam’s update (EP 151)
09:15 Battling for your brothers
11:20 Joshua’s update (EP 151)
14:30 Facing the fear of outcomes: Asking God for direction instead of avoiding conflict
15:30 Mason’s update (Revisiting EP 193)
16:15 Finding a true relationship with God beyond just quitting pornography
18:15 Psalm 23: How God prepares a table for us in the presence of difficulty, not just comfort
20:20 Finding God in the "Now": Moving past prayers focused only on the past or future
22:15 Closing commitments: Bringing Jesus into the center of brotherhood
23:10 How to reach out and wrap-up

EP 222: Mike's Story

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Mike recounts early exposure to pornography, shame shaped by church messaging, family dynamics, and later learning his biological father’s sexual addiction, then baptizing him before his mission. He describes a canceled temple wedding due to church discipline, continued struggles after marriage, and his shift toward inner work, self-compassion, and a reframe of repentance as metanoia—a fresh view of self, God, and the world—emphasizing wholeness over perfection and connection as the antidote. He recommends “Lean on Me” as his recovery song. He discusses his pivot from branding and graphic design into men’s work, retreats, and breathwork, including co-founding the HEARE Brotherhood.

Connect with Mike and get resources here:
- www.thelightinus.org
- www.hearebros.com
- LinkedIn

Timestamps:
01:11 Making Repair Story
03:05 Meet Mike Allen
03:20 Career Pivot and Purpose
06:32 Family Crest Breakthrough
07:41 First Mens Retreat Leap
10:05 Breathwork Heart Opening
12:22 HearBrotherhood Origin
13:46 Early Porn Exposure
14:39 Family Context and Masculinity
17:28 Shame and Church Messages
20:43 Bio Dad Addiction Reveal
23:11 Baptizing His Dad
23:48 Engagement Secrets
25:02 Recommend Taken Away
27:40 Wedding Canceled
30:28 Marriage Did Not Fix It
31:24 Beyond Twelve Steps
34:51 Metanoia Not Shame
37:30 Opposition And Shadow
40:04 Golden Nuggets
45:06 Find Mike Online
45:47 Lean On Me Finale

EP 221: Live Unashamed - Fire the Old God

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Sam, Mason, James, and Austin discuss “firing the old God and hiring the new one.” They define the “old God” as transactional, shaming, distant, perpetually disappointed, and often rooted in childhood, family-of-origin dynamics. The "old God" is a false God that uses reward systems, shame, and sometimes spiritual manipulation. To embrace a new God, you can:

1. Explicitly name false beliefs about God,
2. Identify their impact on relationships, nervous system
3. Reality-test beliefs through scripture and Christ’s character
4. Examine how the belief once protected parts of the self
5. Grieve the loss of the familiar but harmful God-image, and
6. Use rituals (termination letter, speaking aloud, burning notes) to “fire” it.

To close, Austin recommends John Eldredge’s One Minute Pause App feature "20 Days to Experience Jesus.”

Timestamps:

01:19 Meet the Old God
03:27 Where Shame Begins
05:38 Why Fire Him
08:29 Dismantle the Belief
10:45 Grieve the Old Image
12:03 Steps and Rituals
14:52 Hire the New God
16:47 Relational Exposure Practice
17:47 Relapse and Rework
20:30 Resources and Reflections
22:05 Listener Challenge Outro

EP 220: Austin & Becca's Story

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In this episode of Unashamed, Unafraid, Austin and his wife Becca share how traumatic sexual experiences shaped their views of sexuality, secrecy, and control, and how that led Austin to pornography addiction. Austin describes hiding his compulsive porn use and masturbation due to fear and shame reinforced by religious shame, then later relapsing on his mission, engaging in digital relationships and sexting, and facing a highly shaming disciplinary process, including being labeled a “sexual predator,” disfellowshipped, and shamed by a therapist. Becca recounts being excluded from the process while engaged to be married, not learning full details years into marriage, while also navigating her own trauma and intimacy struggles. Through supportive therapy, Warrior Heart Boot Camp and Heart of a Woman Retreat, vulnerability, and surrendering to God, the two begin healing, rebuilding trust. Austin reaches nearly six months sobriety; they emphasize shared recovery, communication, and “Broken Together” as their song.

Timestamps:

00:43 Meet Austin and Becca

01:53 Austin's Childhood Sexual Grooming

03:25 Porn Exposure and Control

05:23 Shame Culture and Secrecy

08:02 Becca’s Sexual Abuse

14:10 How Trauma Shaped Sexuality

15:37 Vulnerability and Early Disclosure

19:08 Mission Struggles and iPad Temptation

24:34 Confession and Church Discipline

28:29 Disfellowshipped and Silenced

29:03 Therapy That Shamed

30:41 Becca Left Outside

35:34 Marriage Under Pressure

39:28 A Bishop Who Got It

41:15 Finding Real Therapy

43:44 Warrior Heart Breakthrough

47:26 Healing as a Team

50:55 Rock Bottom to Surrender

56:40 Broken Together 

EP 219: Talking to Strangers About My Porn Addiction

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In this episode of Unashamed Unafraid, Austin shares how keeping a small journal of unfiltered “Dear God” letters for six months became a record of his recovery, transformed his relationship with God, improved communication with his wife, and supported about four months of sobriety. He describes feeling prompted to write “I’m a porn addict in recovery. Ask me anything.” on a poster board and sit at Utah Valley University; after three hours, one student approached, discussed shame and feeling unlovable, and later asked to keep talking. Sam connects this to his own prayer for guidance to expand the platform, then joins Austin in Salt Lake City near City Creek Mall to hold the sign with Austin, where several strangers engage in meaningful conversations. They discuss de-shaming addiction, the most common question they received, and invite listeners to try writing letters to God and email Sam to get involved.


01:17 Letters to God
04:06 Sobriety Breakthrough
04:41 Share About Your Porn Addiction
07:46 Finding The One
09:04 Why Vulnerability Matters
11:33 Taking It to Salt Lake
12:57 De-Shaming Porn Addiction
15:51 Hard Questions Real Answers
17:54 Hope Without Pressure

EP 218: Live Therapy with Jason Dausses

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In this episode of Unashamed, Unafraid, Sam and Mason discuss sexual addiction recovery with their shared therapist, Jason Dausses of Accepted Therapy. Sam opens up about longstanding self-judgment rooted in verbally abusive coaches and bosses, and Jason frames healing as both rescuing past wounds and then empowering oneself to live from “zero to ten” through real-time choices, community, and effective communication of needs. They explore why “95% honesty” still leaves a hidden 5% that fuels shame, how to ask others for specific support to create safety, and how boundaries relate to unmet needs and validation-seeking. Jason emphasizes grieving lost time, widening one’s window of tolerance for discomfort, accepting God’s unchanging acceptance even during acting out, and using mindfulness and inner-monologue journaling/parts work to observe thoughts non-judgmentally and reduce shame.

Schedule an appointment with Jason 

Timestamps:

00:00 Raw Check In
01:15 Shame Spiral Confession
02:08 Inner Critic Origins
03:07 Meet The Therapist
05:36 Rescue Then Empower
07:42 The Hidden Five Percent
12:55 Asking For What You Need
15:07 Safety And Self Rescue
16:25 Boundaries Or Validation
18:35 Grief Stage In Recovery
20:46 Grieving Unmet Progress
21:59 Widening Tolerance Window
23:03 God Accepts You Always
24:43 Reintegrating Prayer Life
28:01 Mindfulness After Acting Out
29:47 Inner Monologue Journaling
31:11 Applying Skills Beyond Sex
35:03 No Silver Bullet Recovery
39:03 Living in the Gray
40:33 Wrap Up and Next Steps

EP 217: Live Unashamed - Warrior Heart, The Best Resource in Recovery

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In this episode, Sam and James are joined by Dan Ostler to discuss their recent experiences at Warrior Heart Boot Camp. Sam shares a powerful, God-orchestrated moment of healing where confronting shame led to emotional breakthrough and support from God and his brothers.

The trio highlight Warrior Heart Boot Camp, the best resource for sexual addiction recovery, and how unplugging in the mountains for three days with Christ fosters healing. They also mention Glory and Heart of a Woman as equivalent programs for women.

First time attending Warrior Heart? Use the code UNASHAMED100 for $100 off.


WARRIOR HEART
- Register for Warrior Heart
- Request a scholarship through Unashamed Unafraid

Heart of a Woman Retreat
- Register for Heart of a Woman
- Request a scholarship through Unashamed Unafraid

The GLORY Retreat
- Register for GLORY
- Request a scholarship through Unashamed Unafraid

Timestamps:

01:25 Why Warrior Heart Matters

01:53 Divine Masculinity Breakdown

04:19 God Orchestrates the Prayer

07:12 Boot Camp Changes Recovery

08:28 Dan’s Boot Camp Journey

09:53 How Dan Invites Men

13:51 Why We Share What Heals

15:35 What Makes It Safe

18:53 Sam’s Prayer and Marriage Struggles

20:34 Call to Action Scholarships

21:49 Final Testimonies and Offer

EP 216: Mike's Story

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In this episode of Unashamed, Unafraid, Mason and Sam welcome Mike Farr, a rock photographer, Spartan racer, husband to Jenny, and father to Wesley. Mike shares how his father leaving early, conflict with a stepfather, and feeling unlovable fueled a “character” that chased acceptance through music, drugs, escalating sexual behavior, and crime. He describes immersion in the late ’60s–’80s music scene, cocaine dealing, and eventual heroin addiction, repeated arrests, rehab attempts, and a Salvation Army program that helped him rebuild sobriety and career. After a six-year relapse, an overdose coma, and another arrest, he surrendered, returned to meetings, and found sustained recovery and service, including coaching sobriety on the Vans Warped Tour, framing God as his Father and a source of healing.

00:43 Recovery Check In
02:34 Introducing Mike
04:03 How We Met
05:23 Childhood Wounds
07:49 Music And Drugs
12:08 Sex Addiction Escalates
15:54 God And Fatherhood
19:40 Tahoe Marriage Fallout
20:19 Stevie Ray Vaughan Wakeup
21:52 Wicked Wanda
22:34 Heroin Hooked and Sick
24:07 Intervention and Jail
26:00 Rehab Fail and Rick
28:02 Tank Talk and Release Mistake
30:33 Salvation Army Turnaround
32:35 Relapse
33:45 Overdose and Two Week Coma
37:23 Surrender
39:30 God's Tender Mercy
43:06 Service Life and Father God
45:14 Closing Song

EP 215: Live Unashamed - Gratitude

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Sam shares a previously unreleased conversation with Chris and Joshua about gratitude in recovery and healing through Christ. They discuss how gratitude helps overcome shame, challenges entitlement, and creates lasting change, while sharing personal stories of recovery, relationships, and faith.

Buy Chris's favorite gratitude journal here 

Timestamps:

00:00 Lost Clip Intro

00:56 Welcome and Gratitude Banter

01:21 Sam on God and Grace

02:13 Chris Gratitude List

03:06 Hair Talk Break

03:39 Why Gratitude Helps Recovery

05:01 Opposite of Gratitude

06:10 Entitlement vs Gods Love

06:49 Daily Gratitude Text Habit

10:10 Gratitude Journal Practice

11:41 Autumns Three Things

13:56 Three Things Challenge

15:04 Tag Us and Wrap Up

EP 214: Cam's Story

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In this story episode of Unashamed, Unafraid, Sam and Mason interview Cam, a BYU construction management student preparing to commission as a combat engineer officer. He tells how his porn addiction grew out of achievement pressure, comparison with high-achieving siblings, and deep shame. After moving frequently and living in a high-performance community, Cam internalized “you’re stupid,” then attended a harmful youth program that taught him to see sexuality as evil and God as vengeful. Family stress, his dad losing a job, not getting into West Point, and later COVID intensified depression and escalated acting out, including on his mission. Through honest disclosure, therapy, sponsors, and “rescuing little Cam” with connection, self-care, and patience, Cam’s view of God shifted to a loving, patient healer, and with support from his wife he now reports 15 months sober and a renewed sense of purpose.


Timestamps:

00:00 Welcome and UCAP Update

01:41 Meet Cam

02:31 Pressure and Shame Growing Up

04:23 Porn Exposure and Toxic Program

06:22 Family Stress and West Point Collapse

08:55 Rock Bottom and Escalation

09:42 Mission Struggles and God Image

12:28 Therapy and Finding Little Cam

16:04 Healing Through Pain and Self Care

19:41 Relationships and Marriage Safety

22:18 A New View of God

25:19 Your Own Recovery

EP 213: Live Unashamed - Making Repair

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This episode explores the emotional impact of criticism and how unresolved shame can fuel relapse in recovery. Sam shares a personal experience of being hurt by a negative review, which triggered old beliefs and led to a setback, while highlighting the importance of connection over isolation. Chris centers his comments on the concept of repair, taking accountability, seeking forgiveness, and asking others what healing looks like for them. Chris emphasizes that true repair is ultimately demonstrated through consistent change and living in alignment with one’s values. Lasting recovery is rooted in rebuilding trust, fostering connection, and pursuing ongoing personal growth.

EP 212: Forgotten in the Battle Part III: Boundaries

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In Part III of our series with returning guest Roxy Johnson, author of Forgotten in the Battle with Sexual Addiction, we dive deep into the role boundaries play in healing relationships impacted by sexual addiction and betrayal trauma. Roxy brings powerful insight and hard-earned wisdom on how boundaries protect peace, create honesty, and invite real recovery. Jasmine and Sam also open up about their own journey, discussing how surrendering a spouse to God while taking responsibility for yourself can transform a marriage. This conversation challenges the belief that boundaries are selfish and shows why healthy conflict can actually be a sign that healing is happening. If you or someone you love is navigating recovery, this episode offers practical hope, courage, and direction.

Forgotten in the Battle With Sexual Addiction: The Journey of a Spouse

EP 211: Part II - Unafraid of Coming Unto Christ for Healing

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In part two of the Unashamed, Unafraid series, the hosts discuss becoming unafraid to come unto Christ for healing in sexual addiction recovery by first learning who God truly is. He is kind, loving, forgiving, and relentless rather than judgmental. They explore how shame, secrecy, and “shame goggles” distort church, relationships, and one’s view of God, creating fear that keeps people from seeking healing. Chris shares a financial secrecy that nearly ended his marriage and how turning to God helped him accept support and accountability. Sam admits coasting in “manageable” relapse and delaying deeper healing. James identifies fear of God’s hard answers and commits to daily stillness, honesty, and obedience as a path to identity change and lasting recovery.

Timestamps:

00:00 Welcome Back and Series Setup
02:08 Who God Really Is
03:41 Shame Goggles and Safe Spaces
06:20 Chris Financial Shame Story
10:31 Sam Coasting in Recovery
12:23 Peter in The Chosen Lesson
15:16 James Afraid of the Answer
18:49 Commitments
24:12 Wrap Up and Accountability

EP 210: King's CORE with Ryan Carnahan

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Chris and Sam sit down with Ryan Carnahan from King’s Core to explore the deeper layers of addiction recovery. From relapse and discouragement to identity shifts and emotional resilience, this conversation dives into what actually creates lasting change. Ryan shares his personal 15-year journey through pornography addiction, the turning points that led to healing, and the core framework he now uses to help other men break free. Together, they unpack the difference between surface-level sobriety and true transformation—highlighting the role of identity, community, and mindset in recovery.

EP 209: Part I - Unashamed of Sexual Addiction Recovery

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Sam, Chris, and James discuss what it means to be “unashamed” in sexual addiction recovery. Shame thrives in secrecy, silence, and judgment and that speaking openly breaks isolation. They explore how context and boundaries matter when sharing, distinguishing healthy vulnerability from “vomiting,” and noting that relapse often intensifies shame. Sam shares how he’s become able to admit recent relapse without spiraling, crediting safe community, repeated honest conversations, trauma therapy, and a spiritual experience that helped him accept he is still good even when he relapses. The group encourages listeners to cultivate emotionally safe relationships, face fear within that community, and find a personal “why” for living unashamed.

Timestamps:

Timestamps:

00:00 Welcome and Series Setup

01:04 What Unashamed Means

02:33 Shame Thrives in Silence

05:14 Sharing With Boundaries

07:00 Sobriety and Confidence

09:10 Sam Journey to Openness

11:12 God Moment Breakthrough

12:53 How to Get Unashamed

18:14 Cultivating Safe Community

19:27 Find Your Why

22:37 Brotherhood and Acceptance

25:24 Closing and Support the Show

EP 208: Healing The Inner Child with Drew Boa

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In this episode of Unashamed Unafraid, Sam and Mason welcome Drew Boa, author of Outgrow Porn and founder of Husband Material Ministries, who explains inner child work as understanding sexual temptation and intolerable emotional pain as implicit “body memory” rather than mature adult desire. Drew shares how recognizing his own sexual imprinting and connecting it to childhood trauma replaced self-hatred with self-compassion and inviting Jesus into wounded places. Using the cave rescue documentary as an analogy, he outlines a process of locating, loving, and leading multiple “inner boys,” emphasizing connection over control, co-regulation, curiosity-based questions, and identifying attachment needs beneath cravings, framing porn as a pacifier and a protest while encouraging courageous, hope-filled “redemptive risks.”

Connect with Drew Boa:
https://www.husbandmaterial.com/
https://www.drewboa.com/outgrow-porn

Timestamps:

00:00 Recovery Check In
03:23 Meet Drew Boa
06:01 What Is the Inner Child
09:10 Drew Story And Imprinting
12:33 Rescue The Boy Within
17:20 When Pain Triggers Relapse
21:14 Befriending Questions
23:55 Porn As Pacifier and a Protest
28:25 Face, Feel and Co Regulate
32:49 Hope And Redemptive Risk
34:32 Where To Find Drew
36:37 Wrap Up And Subscribe

EP 207: Live Unashamed - The Power of Story

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In this Live Unashamed episode of Unashamed Unafraid, the hosts discuss the impact of sharing honest, raw stories in sexual addiction recovery and how storytelling combats the shame that fuels isolation and acting out. They explain that people connect through stories, and that naming taboo experiences with courage and vulnerability can break shame and bring healing.

Timestamps:

00:00 Why Story Matters

03:23 Writing Your Story

05:02 Sharing With Sponsor

06:53 Timeline And The Good

10:39 Josh On Sharing

15:28 Chris on Going Public

18:15 Hope And Next Steps

19:44 Send Us Your Story

EP 206: Surrender and Grief With Roxanna Johnson

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In this episode of Unashamed Unafraid, we return with Roxanna Johnson for a second recording as she explains how spouses are changed by the “dance” of addiction, why both partners have parallel recovery paths, and how hope can emerge over years of work. She teaches surrender as releasing control to God, addressing fear and hypervigilance, and emphasizes grieving, emotional regulation, movement with breath, journaling, and a step-by-step surrender practice, urging those struggling with addiction to “see” and validate their spouse’s pain while seeking the God who knows their name. Roxanna is the author of Forgotten in the Battle with Sexual Addiction, The Journey of a Spouse.

*Check out Roxy's book on Amazon
To connect with Roxy, send her an email: roxyj16@gmail.com or visit her Website, Facebook and Instagram

00:00 Welcome and Check In
04:35 Spouses Need to Heal Too
08:07 The Recovery Dance
13:15 Surrendering Control
17:29 Fear and Trusting God
22:00 How to Support Your Wife
27:26 Grief and Healing
30:57 Six Steps to Surrender
38:14 God Knows Your Name
43:33 Closing and Resources

EP 204: Nathan Maxwell's Story

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Nathan Maxwell returns after a lost recording to share updated perspectives on recovery and marriage. He recounts early exposure to pornography in fourth grade, his parents’ divorce, his half-brother’s suicide, and how shame and suppressed grief fueled compulsive porn use and a growing need for validation from various sexual partners. Nathan describes how religious culture, lack of sex education, and scrupulosity shaped a belief that God hated him, contributing to misery and suicidal ideation. Recovery began when a church member introduced him to Unashamed, Unafraid, 12-step meetings, and boot camp. Nathan now lives with a changed view of God as a loving Father, and ongoing growth through setbacks and sobriety since November 2024.

00:00 Guidebook Update

01:32 Nathan Returns

03:24 Roots of Addiction

17:14 Bootcamp Breakthrough

19:01 Learning Gods Love

26:33 Golden Nuggets of Recovery