Experiencing God's Love

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Have you felt the love that God has for you through the love and acceptance extended to you by another person? 

Recently my wife and I attended a Sunday church service for a congregation we used to attend. The leader of this congregation, who has become a dear friend to us, had completed his tenure and was being released and a new leader had been called. During the service both my wife and I wiped away tears of gratitude as we reflected on the love and service this man had offered to us through one of the most difficult times of our marriage.  

A little over 4 years prior, I was at the lowest point of my life. I had recently broken the trust and heart of my wife yet again as I disclosed to her for the third time about my continued struggle with an addiction to lust that was still going strong 14 years into our marriage. Seven years prior I had relapsed and instead of telling anyone, especially my wife, I decided to keep it a secret. I had broken her heart so many times before with empty promises of changing and I couldn’t handle dealing with the pain my actions would cause her.  

At this point I had given up all hope for me. Having gone through formal discipline through my church twice before for acting out I figured I had blown all of my chances for redemption, so over those 7 years I went deeper into my addiction. I got to the point where I no longer wanted to live. I had decided my family would be better off without me. 

It was around this time that I stumbled upon the Unafraid Unashamed website for the first time. I remember reading Steve’s story and for the first time feeling like someone else knew what I was going through and how I felt. I would listen to the stories of Chris & Autumn, Steve, and Rob on repeat in my car over and over again. In listening to their stories I felt hope for the first time. I thought if I could just be honest about my secret, then maybe I could feel the joy and freedom they had experienced. 

One day I was feeling really low so I came home from work early and decided to pray. I felt like this was my last option. Either God would help me or I was going to need to end my life. I said the sincerest prayer I had ever prayed to God and pleaded for His help. I didn’t know what to expect because I felt unworthy to ask Him for anything. 

In my prayer I remember asking that if God would just provide me with an opportunity, I would be completely honest about everything no matter the consequences and I would do whatever He wanted. Within 2 weeks a miracle started to happen in my life. God blessed me with the opportunity I needed to finally be honest and tell my wife and our old ecclesiastical leader everything. I was very scared but I had an overwhelming feeling that God had heard my prayer and was answering it. 

I had an amazing experience talking with my church leader. Through the many years of acting out in my addiction I always wished that I could just talk to Christ directly. Speaking with my church leader felt like how I imagined my conversation with Christ would go. He invited me to go for a walk with him and talk. I felt no judgment from him and he was kind and loving as I confessed a lifetime of sin and pain. It was the first time I didn’t feel like I had made my church leader angry with me. I felt seen, heard, and accepted just the way I believe Christ wants each of us to feel. 

I ended up going through formal church discipline again for the third time. Whereas my first 2 church discipline experiences were shameful and anything but loving, this time the experience was completely different. It was very spiritual and I felt nothing but God's love for me through the entire process. I  was not excommunicated as I figured I would be. Instead I was shown mercy and kindness I had never felt previously and for which I felt completely unworthy. 

I am forever grateful to my church leader who helped me to feel God’s love for me when I needed it most. I had given up on myself but God did not. He pursued me and showed me how great His love is.  Looking back on this experience I feel overwhelmed with gratitude for God’s love and mercy. I may not understand it but I am grateful for it. I am reminded of a quote by Jeffrey R. Holland that says, “…surely the thing God enjoys most about being God is the thrill of being merciful, especially to those who don’t expect it and often feel they don’t deserve it.”

I feel strongly that it’s no coincidence that since this experience I've been blessed with the best sobriety and recovery I’ve ever had. Anytime I question God’s love for me I can look back at this experience with my former church leader and friend and I remember how God loves and cares for me. I know he loves and cares for you as well. 

 Now what?  

  • Ponder on God’s mercy and love?  How have you felt those manifest through another person?  Take the time to acknowledge this and thank this person.  

  • Find a way you extend acceptance and love to another person and do it.  

By Seth, Writing Team

I Don’t Know Who I’d be if I Didn’t Have You

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Lauren Daigle’s song of this title is hitting the Spotify radio rotation pretty regularly. 

I disagree with the title, however, as I know exactly who I am without Christ as the center of my life. 

I’ve lived many years with the person who attempted to live without Christ and he isn’t someone great to hang out with. And I am so thankful that today I do know who I can be when Christ is invited in daily. 

As I reflect on that this morning, I’m glad to see where I’ve come from - in recovery it is often easy to compare against another and be discouraged as to where I think I should be. More and more, however, I’m learning the importance of being present in the moment, asking God “who do You need me to be right now? Who needs me? This removes the comparison and puts my heart and God’s Love at the center of my world, leaving little room for anything else. 

So many stories on the Unashamed Unafraid podcast walk us through who we are without our Older Brother guiding us. 

When I don’t feel very inspired, my prayer can be “God, help me see others as You see them. Help me to love them as You love them.” Following this prayer with a list of everything I’m thankful for has yet to fail me. 

God never fails me and when I approach Him with an open heart and I am willing to put all my garbage, self-doubt, anxiety, fears, procrastination, inaction, and other weaknesses on the mental altar, Christ takes my mess and helps me to be a part of His message. 

My prayer for you today is to find out who you can be with Christ at your center. 

What Next? 

  • Take a moment and ask God who you can reach out to. Go with the very first picture of a person or name that comes to mind, or however you get inspired. Yes, you may think “anyone but that person” or “they are too busy for me” or a number of other prompts that don’t come from God.

  • Pick up your phone and call or shoot a text or drop by their house. Just do something immediately. Nothing may happen. A lot may happen. But you won’t know until you try it.

By Pete, Writing Team

"No I'm not! I'm Noah!"

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Through my study of scripture, stoicism, and most recently, the book "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz, the concept of "not taking things personally" has surfaced time and again over the past several years.

Like many truths that God has highlighted in my life, I initially dismissed it, believing it wasn't a problem for me. After all, I have thick skin and enjoy bantering and joking around with friends, even at my own expense. However, as this concept kept coming up, I felt compelled to delve deeper.

Another concept that recently resonated with me is the idea of an "inner circle," mentioned in books like "Own Your Past, Change Your Future" by Dr. John Delony. It suggests that there are a select few people in our lives whom we trust to truly know us, care for us, and guide us. Upon examining the "Don't take things personally" idea closely in my own life, I realized that at times, I grant the people in my inner circle the power to offend me.

This is something that has and can stall my recovery. This realization is challenging because I struggle to comprehend how it could be possible not to take offense in such situations.

Not too long ago, I found myself around a campfire with some friends, sharing our hearts. The topic of not taking things personally came up, and a comment caught my attention: A friend shared that he had been in situations where someone in his inner circle was invalidating him. However, he managed to adopt an outside observer's perspective and feel compassion for the person, and surprisingly, not take offense. He had developed enough self-awareness and confidence to recognize that such instances often reveal more about the other person or situation than about himself.

Another friend then shared a story that resonated with this concept. His young nephew, brimming with confidence, would respond to light-hearted jokes or even compliments by emphatically saying, "No, I'm not. I'm Noah!" Regardless of the comment, whether it was "You're a little prankster!" or "You're a great ball player!", the response remained the same: "No, I'm not. I'm Noah!"

That simple phrase solidified the concept for me. Now, I have hope that when confronted with a situation where I could take things personally, I can step aside, observe the circumstance, and remind myself, "No, I'm not. I'm Ty!" By bringing the truth of who I really am into situations where my worth is being questioned, I hope to gain the ability to analyze the situation accurately, avoid taking it personally, and perhaps even find opportunities for personal growth or offering compassion. No matter what happens, this feels like a step forward in my recovery.

What Next?

  • Study and truly embrace the truth that you are good and loved unconditionally

  • Get excited about the possibility of life without offense

  • Study the closely-related topic of setting boundaries

By Ty, Writing Team