Finding Footing After a Life Change

Coming home from my LDS mission was awkward. One day, I was a full-time missionary, preaching with purpose and feeling dialed into the Spirit. The next, I was back in my childhood bedroom with the same posters and old high school notebooks. Everything felt familiar but also...off. Like I’d been dropped back into my old life, but I wasn’t the same person anymore.

Listening to Liam’s story on the Unashamed Unafraid podcast, I kept nodding—especially when he talked about relapsing after coming home. I felt that. My mission wasn’t porn-free, but by the end, I’d pushed it aside, embraced the structure, and felt spiritually solid. I thought I’d left my struggles behind. Turns out they were just waiting.

I slipped back into regular porn use—not because I wanted to, but because I didn’t know how to fill the void the mission left. That structure had helped cover up wounds from my childhood, and without it, uncertainty and loneliness came rushing in. And yeah, an awkward attempt to rekindle things with my high school girlfriend didn’t help. (Spoiler: It did not go well.)

Soon, I was depressed and disappointed. Liam called post-mission life the most depressed he’d ever been—I could relate. For him, it was a strained relationship with his dad. For me, it was a failed relationship and realizing I’d fallen back into a version of myself I thought I’d outgrown—one shaped by pain I hadn’t fully faced.

Like Liam, things started to shift for me when I moved to college. A new environment, new friends, and a clean slate helped. My battle with porn saw years of ups and downs before I found real recovery, but looking back, I can see what contributed to the ups—and that’s where the lessons lie.

1. Connection, Purpose, and Routine Are Not Optional

On the mission, those things just exist—you don’t have to build them. But at home, it was on me to recreate them. When I didn’t, old habits were happy to fill the space.

Recovery isn’t just about quitting bad behavior. It’s about building a life that makes relapse less likely. For me, that meant surrounding myself with good people, setting goals, and creating daily structure. Liam found strength in connection, and so did I.

2. A Relapse Doesn’t Erase Progress

That first relapse after the mission felt like I’d undone everything—all the growth and hard work gone in an instant. But that’s a lie.

Recovery isn’t about never messing up. It’s about what I do after. Progress isn’t linear, and setbacks don’t erase what I’ve learned.

3. Shame Keeps Me Stuck. Forgiveness Moves Me Forward

For a while, I let shame run the show. It told me I was weak, that I’d blown it, that I’d never change. Believing that only made things worse.

Self-forgiveness isn’t a nice idea—it’s essential. Beating myself up never helped. Owning my mistakes and choosing to move forward? That’s when change would happen.

4. Environment Matters

Liam’s story reminded me how much my surroundings affect me. Being in a tense or unsupportive environment can drag me down fast.

Sometimes, the biggest shift in recovery is a literal one—new roommates, new school, new community. Changing my environment gave me space to breathe and grow.

If you're in the thick of a life transition, you're not alone. What’s been the hardest part for you? What’s helped? Drop a comment—We’d love to hear.

By Ty, Writing Team