“What I did not realize is that Heavenly Father was telling me that He had to sever the old relationship for a new one.” -Theron
Theron’s story is one of deep tragedy and amazing healing. It was an incredible experience to sit with him while he shared the immense difficulty and pain he has faced as well as hearing him talk about how he found healing, change, and hope. Despite all he experienced, he has gained an intimate relationship with God. Although Theron is still working on this recovery, the way he talks about his marriage and his new relationship with God is truly inspiring. Sharing stories that are unashamed and unafraid is our mission. However, this means they are usually raw, real and authentic. DISCLAIMER: Theron’s story has some traumatic experiences he faced in his childhood, so be forewarned.
Theron was born into this world under extremely difficult circumstances. Theron’s dad and grandfather subjected him to things that no person should ever have to witness or experience. At five (or six) years old, he witnessed his father rape his sister and was subjected to ritualistic abuse and torture himself.
Theron’s parents split up when he was 10 years old. Despite the abuse by his dad, he decided to stay with him because his mother was gone emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. Theron had to grow up fast. He recalled having to regularly eat TV dinners and similar meals because of his dad’s neglect. As he grew up, he found distraction in drugs and alcohol. It was a good way to numb the pain of his childhood and the feelings of being unlovable and unworthy of anyone’s love. As a child and teen, Theron avoided God because he believed God did not love him and that he was worthless.
But as Theron’s life was spiraling out of control with drug use, he felt like God intervened and wanted him to clean up his life. Theron went on to serve an LDS mission and thought that it was his one shot at redemption. Because Theron wasn’t perfectly obedient, he thought he was a terrible missionary and had blown that shot.
When he returned home, Theron decided to move to Colorado where he met the love of his life. Life was good with her for the first couple of years. Eventually, Theron fell into pornography while attending college. Over time his sexual acting out went further and further until he ended up having affairs. He was full of shame and convinced that his wife would divorce him if he told her about it so he put together a plan. The plan was that as soon as his youngest left home to go to college, he would divorce his wife and then get help. Over time, he realized he couldn’t wait that long and told his wife he wanted a divorce. She said, “No, we need to go to counseling first.” At this time Theron had not disclosed anything yet. Fast forward several months of therapy, Theron chose to spill all of his secrets to his wife, including the horrible things from his childhood. Theron wrote down everything. Once Theron opened up to his wife, he was scared that he would be “excommunicated” from his church. Excommunication is when a person loses their membership in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
“What I did not realize is that Heavenly Father was telling me that He had to sever the old relationship for a new one;” full of love and compassion. Theron has felt so much outpouring of love from his Heavenly Father. He has had some personal and sacred experiences that he deeply cherishes. Theron has learned from his Father in Heaven how to truly love people and be present for them.
Theron still has his struggles with pornography, but he is “All In” when it comes to his recovery. He is completely honest about his struggles and understands that he is not perfect. That is okay for him because he knows his Father in Heaven still loves him fully and deeply. He has the trust and hope that he will win this war.
It was an honor to interview Theron. His story is extremely raw and real, but he has survived to tell it. And we at Unashamed Unafraid know that his story will impact someone who might be struggling.
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