In addiction recovery we often talk about ‘slipping’ which can be defined as acting out, but quickly being honest about it and getting back into recovery. It’s different from relapse which can be defined as a prolonged period of acting out while turning away from recovery.
Last week I slipped a lot! Not in my addiction, but physically on an icy trail. It made me think a lot about slipping in addiction, though. I was winter camping with friends, a venture that requires some special equipment. My biggest concern was staying warm and so I was sure to bring warm clothing and a warm sleeping bag. As a result, I was comfortable throughout the campout.
What I did not consider was the conditions on a trail that we hiked. The trail had been snowed on, well traveled, slightly melted and then frozen which resulted in it being very slick and I was wearing old tennis shoes: the wrong equipment! I made it, but only after slowing down the group, worrying them and falling more times than I care to admit.
Like slipping on an icy trail, slipping in addiction is not fun, but both can be minimized with the right ‘equipment’. I recently read a short book on recovery called ‘Untangling Addiction’ by Marcus De Carvalho, M.D. which offers some solid equipment recommendations for preventing slips in addiction. His recommendations are based on the science behind addiction which describes a sort of war between the brain’s Frontal Lobe and Pleasure Reward System (the Amygdala and the Hippocampus). See Romans 7:22-25 for Paul’s description of this war.
In short, the Pleasure Reward System is programmed for short-term rewards and the Frontal Lobe is programmed for long-term rewards. The Pleasure Reward System has the advantages of engrained neural pathways (habits) and the high availability of pornography.
In contrast, the Frontal Lobe has advantages that include goals, willpower, grit and hard work which eventually fail us on their own. De Carvalho insists that the Frontal Lobe needs at least two added advantages: Connection and Purpose.
Connection is the opposite of isolation, which is where addiction thrives. De Carvalho says, “I’ve never met an individual who maintained sobriety without having a relationship with someone else who was also trying to maintain sobriety.” These relationships leave little room for slips when they include healthy accountability where there’s transparency and vulnerability.
Just as importantly, these relationships are based in discipleship of Jesus Christ. And love for one another is the most important sign of that discipleship (John 13:34-35). Among other things, discipleship helps us with the natural doubts we have about our ability to recover (Mark 9:14-29).
De Carvalho suggests that Purpose is equally as important. Many of us are familiar with the concept of a Larger Story from John Eldredge’s book ‘Wild at Heart’. Life can feel like a movie we've walked out of forty minutes early because we haven’t followed that nagging voice that tells us we can be greater than the world would have us be. Playing out the rest of the story is critical.
The next chapter of our story is glorious - a chapter full of battle, adventure and beauty. Stepping in to our larger story takes us out of the smallness that results from our addictions and into long-term fulfillment.
De Carvalho writes that our first purpose is to love God with all of our heart, mind, soul, and strength. Our second purpose is to love others, which includes guiding others into discipleship. Both are epic adventures that surprise us with their potency.
