Ep 34: Tim and Callie's Story

Steve and Jason sit down with Tim and Callie as they share their story.  This is a story of true redemption, and not just for Tim. Tim and Callie talk about their stories individually and how they met. They then talk about how they both found redemption through the atonement and grace of Jesus Christ. 

Tim grew up in a home that was pretty stable and were good church-going people. Tim talked about how his earliest memories of acting out around the age of ten. He did not realize that these memories would be the first of many that would eat away at him and ensnare him. Tim struggled through many years of addiction without any help. There have been many leaders that have said, “Well, just stop it by singing a song or reading a scripture.” 

This does not work very well. It is like telling a person with a cut, “Just stop worrying about it and it will just go away.” It doesn’t work that way. Addicts need support and Tim just wasn’t getting it. So, he went on a mission thinking it wasn’t a big deal. He found resources at bookstores and other places to look at pictures and images while his mission companions were there for their own interests. 

Callie is Tim’s second wife because he did not get the help he needed due to the lack of resources available about sexual addiction in the 90’s. Tim was divorced from his first wife and then met Callie at church. Callie had never been married and they immediately had a special connection. They eventually got married without Tim letting her know about his secret life.

Callie found out about six years after they were married in 2011. Tim was gaslighting Callie for those six years and she felt like something was off the entire time. She found the proof that things were off because their son opened Tim’s phone one morning while he was sleeping. Callie picked it up to put it back and saw there were sexual conversations with a lady that Tim met during a choir rehearsal. 

Tim and the woman met online because of these rehearsals. Callie asked Tim to delete everything that connected Tim to this woman. So, he deleted the app and the messages from this woman. Callie decided a couple of months after that she would move to Utah and try to work through her betrayal trauma. She blamed herself and Tim let her.

Callie said that Tim should not be a part of the choir because the choir was created to celebrate the dedication of the new LDS temple in Tucson, AZ. Tim was acting as though she did not know what she was talking about and he blamed her for his addiction. She took all of that on and she spiraled being around him. So she decided to go home. She told her family everything.

When she went home Tim decided to get help. He started attending the LDS Church’s version of the 12-Step program called the Addiction Recovery Program (ARP). Before Callie left, Tim talked about how he was going to fight for the kids if they got a divorce. He continued to believe that he was able to go and sing in the dedication of the temple. This actually did not happen, why?

Tim allowed the spirit to start working in him. The night before Tim was going to sing, the spirit told him to call his ecclesiastical leader and confess everything. When that happened, He immediately became teachable and humbled. Tim’s leader took away his temple recommend (temple authorization) and he could not sing at the dedication. He told Callie how sorry he was and that he would do whatever it takes to get over this addiction. 

Callie decided to go back to Tucson and try to work through this with Tim. Tim did not really change all the way and he continued to hide things from Callie. There was a second “D-Day” or Disclosure day. This one really made Tim think and appreciate Callie and her willingness to stay with him. He also realized just how much his Heavenly Father loves him and how much Jesus Christ loves him. 

Tim continues to read several books about how much Christ loves him. There will be a list of them on the Unashamed website for reference. Tim and Callie have realized just what the atonement means to them. They have really felt God’s pure love because of it. Tim said, “You have to let the Savior help you. Callie agreed by saying, “You have to do this daily.”

Callie also talked about how an addict's issues are never the fault of the betrayed. And that the Savior is there for the betrayed as well as the addicted. Callie found comfort with this and decided to stay even though she could have done things on her own. She reiterates that the Savior is there for all.

The UU Crew is so thankful that Tim and Callie had the courage to tell their story. If this story touches your life or you know it will touch someone's, please consider sharing this with them. The UU Crew agrees with Tim and Callie about how they talked about the Savior. He is there for all. No matter what! The Savior is waiting for all to come to Him. He loves You! Let Him.

Please follow us on Facebook and Instagram at @UnashamedUnafraid.  Thank you for listening.