He Left the 99 for Me

Alone and forgotten, or so it seemed
My life felt full of shattered dreams
Despair and pain had overcome
I was certain I was not The One

The storm raged on, the rain poured down
In midsts of darkness, I almost drown
The knocking so subtle my ears could faint hear
My pain and suffering persisted in fear

Self-inflicted wounds seemed to seal my fate
Anxiety, shame, and loathing self hate
“I’m not worthy,” my lips attempted to say
But Christ opened the door, and came my way

“Come, Child, I never left you – I’ve been here at the door
I suffer with the meek, the weary, and the poor
While you could barely hear me knock, I waited My time
Until your heart was willing to surrender to Mine”

“Now come with Me and join the ninety and nine …”

None of us is ever so lost that Christ does not persist at the door knocking. In Revelation 3:20 He promises, “I stand at the door and knock, if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come and dine with him, and he with Me.”

Christ does not bring a bag of cold Chicken Nuggets (unless that is your thing …), He desires to feast with us. Spend the evening with us until we sleep. Keep His Spirit with Us and abide with us forever.

When I was in my deepest despair, I pictured that door and Him knocking. But in my mind, there were layers and layers of brick wall between me and that door. I kept trying to take down a wall one brick at a time, but it seemed hopeless and futile as new walls were appearing faster than I could tear one down.

It was then that I cried out, “Oh Jesus, save me!”

The walls burst into powder and disintegrated, and the door flew open. We had a lot of work to do. A lot to clean up. The twelve steps aided me, as did therapy, a sound sponsor, family, and church leaders.

Despair will come in its various forms and try to offer a cheap substitute. Often, I keep it out with a “do not disturb” sign on the door. Other times, I may open the door and let it in for a while. Regardless, I eventually realize that it is not for me. And I remember that the only dinner guest is Christ, and He won’t put up with a pity party for long, only long enough to remind me of His Love for me and to reset the table and continue the feast.

I pray the same is true for you. If it is not, I invite you to ask Him.

By Pete, Writing Team