Trapped: Reflections on Kaleb's story

In our most recent episode, Kaleb shares his struggle with addiction or compulsive behavior, imprisonment, and recovery. Listening to his story, I was struck by how closely his experience of prison parallels the experience of being trapped in compulsive behavior. As Kaleb points out, prison fosters feelings of isolation and powerlessness, reinforces labels, and dictates actions—much like compulsive behavior itself.

On my own recovery journey, I have felt isolated and powerless, unable to foster closeness or intimacy in my relationships. Labels—imposed by others and myself—have weighed heavily on me. My actions often felt constrained, and I was confined by cravings that persisted despite devastating consequences. Shame and guilt fueled denial and further isolation, making it harder to seek help. But as Kaleb’s story illustrates, there’s hope for escape.

A Correct Understanding of God
Initially, Kaleb’s view of God was that of a distant, vague, disconnected figure. “An old man with a white beard.” This perception began to shift during his incarceration. Confronted with himself and his actions, he actively sought ways to minimize distraction and turned to scripture, prayer, and meditation. This created space for introspection and spiritual growth, allowing him to personally experience God’s grace and presence. Over time, Kaleb came to see God and Christ not as distant figures, but as patient, forgiving, and as his “biggest cheerleaders.”

As Kaleb grew closer to God, he chose to surrender—accepting his legal and spiritual reality and seeking God’s direction. He describes this surrender as “shutting up and listening” to God.

For me, this shift—from seeing God as disconnected to experiencing Him as close and loving— and surrendering to Him was a pivotal moment in escaping my prisons. What fascinates me most is that this transformation occurred within the very walls of addiction. I originally expected to have to free myself - with a little help, but it was in the midst of my struggle that I experienced God’s sanctifying presence.

God holds the key to our prisons. Honest self-reflection reveals that we are powerless to escape on our own. Only God can free us, and He’s ready to. Surrendering to this truth is crucial. When we view God as distant, surrender feels terrifying, like trading one prison for another. But when we surrender to the true God, we experience peace, hope, patience, and ultimately, healing and freedom.

Embracing Support from Others
While turning to God is foundational, Kaleb’s story also emphasizes the importance of human connection. He mentions "really supportive friends that tried to do as much as they could" despite the challenges of his situation. Therapy also played a significant role. He describes his therapist as someone who provided consistent support throughout his journey. Kaleb also talks about finding a sense of community within prison with a group of men who, like him, were focused on personal growth.

These connections underscore a powerful truth: we can’t navigate recovery alone. Accepting support from others is critical to breaking free.

Finding Purpose
Kaleb emphasizes the importance of "finding a purpose, finding something to work for" as a crucial element of his story. His desire to share his story and help others in recovery, and his decision to pursue a career as a shop teacher, despite the challenges posed by his criminal record, exemplifies this commitment to finding meaning and purpose. A higher story.

Kaleb’s experience in prison provides a great parallel with compulsive behavior and inspires hope that transformation is possible, even when we feel most trapped. Whether in a physical prison or the prisons of the mind, there is a way out: surrender to God, connection, and purpose.

By Ty, Writing Team