EP 120: Live Unashamed- How to Break My Codependency (pt. 2)

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Having already defined codependency, the team now addresses how to break out of its cycle. The first step is to recognize what our codependent behaviors even are. We cannot choose a different path if we don’t see the choices that are there. Furthermore, if we want to stop manipulating others into meeting our needs, we have to make peace with the fact that we really do have needs and that it is acceptable for us to own and address them. If we aren’t willing to give a full and honest voice to those needs, we are much more likely to get them met in covert, manipulative ways.

Another key takeaway is that we have to be willing to be honest, with no regard for the outcome. If we are not comfortable with sharing the truth that might make the other person mad at us and walk away from us, then we cannot live truthfully with that person. We have to be willing to suffer disconnection and be alone. We have to be willing to do the pain. “Enjoy that pain, there is beauty on the other side.”

EP 119: Live Unashamed- Am I Codependent? (pt. 1)

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The concept of codependency can be difficult to grasp and identifying it within ourselves or our relationships can prove challenging. In this episode, we break down the definition, assess its relevance, and offer strategies for recognizing and addressing it.

If you’ve grappled with resentment in a relationship or felt compelled to manage someone else’s emotions or beliefs, this discussion may provide hope, guidance, and even relief.

EP 118: Making Repair with Marc Pimsler

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We’re thrilled to welcome Marc Pimsler back for another episode! Marc, a lover of God, is a therapist, seeker, and a teacher with the heart of a student. He's in long-term recovery and he's here to talk about making repair.

Whether we refer to it as making repair, making amends, setting things right, or repairing relationships, there are ineffective or even harmful ways to approach it. Marc shows up with authenticity and passion to advocate for an effective approach. He begins by defining Addiction, Responsibility, and Accountability in a way that brings clarity to the discussion. We explore the reasons behind making repair, the work that must be done first, how to recognize unhealthy expectations, and strategies for navigating the process.

You can reach Marc via email at mvp@mvp-consulting.net or find him on Instagram @mpimsler and Facebook.

If this episode resonates with you, or if you know someone who needs a reminder of God’s open arms, please share the link to this episode with them. At Unashamed Unafraid, we are here to spread the words of hope and healing through Jesus Christ.

EP 117: Live Unashamed- Reaching Out, What Does it Mean?

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Alcoholics Anonymous' Dr. Bob's response to Bill Wilson after he complained that no one showed up for a meeting he spent the day organizing— "But you didn't drink today" — speaks volumes. In this episode, Steve, James, and Chris recognize the challenges of forming real connections and a supportive community while providing uplifting advice.

Tune in for insightful truths like these: Everyone fears rejection, and introverts face extra hurdles, but there are ways to overcome them. Each connection made is a victory against isolation, and reaching out pulls us out of our negotiations with our addiction.

EP 116: Christian and Kelle's Story

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Christian was born the middle of eight children and felt that he had to act out to get noticed. In his early adolescence he experimented with opiates, alcohol, a cigarette, and sex.

Kelle met Christian during their senior year of High School, the two started dating, and were quickly married after he returned home from his LDS mission. A few years and a motorcycle accident later, Christian went through a steady progression of painkillers, alcohol, gambling, and adultery. He became unable to hold down a job and disappeared for long stretches of time, Kelle and their four children unsure of when or if he would show up next. 

Christian and Kelle’s story is a testament to the fact that there is always a way back, that no soul is over and done, at least not so long as we are willing to open ourselves even a little to the light that is cracking its way into our hearts.

EP 115: Live Unashamed- Navigating the Influence of Digital Media

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Just as we establish clear boundaries in our relationships with other people, we must also set boundaries in our relationship with digital media, especially when we consider that media use is the "most undiagnosed addiction behavior by a mile." It consumes massive chunks of our time on its own, and can lure the recovering porn addict back into full-blown relapse.

Hear the Unashamed Unafraid team speak to all of these points, as well as how parents play a crucial role in modeling healthy media habits for their children, how women especially are hurt by social media's brutal comparison game, and how being constantly plugged in blocks us from "finding God in silence."

EP 114: Equine Therapy with Julie Forbes

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Julie Forbes is a healer of souls. In this episode, we discuss her practice of helping people heal through spiritual connection with and in the presence of horses - Equine Assisted Learning. She has worked professionally in this field for over a decade in the St. George, Utah area.

Julie shares the success she has witnessed in her work with troubled teens and addicts, asserting that no matter what we believe about ourselves, we can find a way to face our 'Soul Hurt,' release our false beliefs, and emerge renewed and healed. 

Join us as Julie describes how she became involved with Equine Assisted Learning, what the experience entails, and how God manifests through it. We believe you'll find her unique perspective on healing, the definition of addiction, and the promise of lasting recovery refreshing. 

You can contact Julie by email, julie@julieforbes.net, her website Dragonfly Soul, Facebook, and Instagram.

EP 113: Live Unashamed- Recovering vs. Recovered

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"I absolutely know with every fiber of my being that [God] loves me for who I am."

Recovery is not a one-size-fits-all process. Each person may define their recovery journey in terms of what resonates with them personally. Recovery is as much about self-awareness and growth as it is about overcoming addiction and the journey from “recovering” to “recovered” lies in our faith in God and His Son Jesus Christ that healing is not only possible for others, but we each too are worthy to receive it and can start living a fulfilling life unburdened by addiction.

EP 112: Empathy with David Thompson

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David Thompson is a marriage and family therapist, a certified sex addiction therapist, and half of the Two Therapists Talking podcast. In today’s episode he is invited to share whatever message “lights him up,” and he chooses to speak on the tremendous power of empathy. He even states that “empathy is the key that unlocks every door.”

Of particular usefulness is David’s step-by-step guide for how to listen to a loved one with complete empathy. Empathy is impossible while still in shame, and he speaks to the need of separating who we are from what we have done. He shares the process by which he proves to each of his clients their inherent worth, allowing them to finally live unashamed.

EP 111: Live Unashamed- Strategies for Breaking Addictive Patterns

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If porn is a paycheck and I’m getting $200 a week and you tell me to just stop - the math doesn’t add up because I’m broke. 

You have to give them hope - “what if I give you $500 a week in recovery.”  And that $500 is hope. This episode uncovers the understanding of unconditional love from God in talking with others and seeking God. Brother and Sisterhood, good 12 Step programs, bootcamps, etc. is what provides the larger payoff of a life in peace from the insanity cycle of acting out. 

EP 110: Matt and Natalie's Story

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Matt and Natalie were high school sweethearts, but unknown by her, Matt had been struggling with pornography since he was a boy. His struggles continued through high school and a church mission, and into their marriage, but he had never shared any of this with his parents, church leaders, or with Natalie.

After their first year of marriage, she opened up to him about a childhood of sexual abuse, and Matt began a very slow process of disclosure to her… a process that lasted the next twelve years.  

He lived with intense feelings of shame and felt as though he was “nothing.” After thirteen difficult years of marriage, and some months of separation, Matt was given the choice of divorce or in-house treatment at Desert Solace, in St. George, Utah. He chose Desert Solace. Those ninety days changed his relationship with himself, with God, and with his wife. He brought a new energy to their marriage as they began a journey of real and lasting recovery.

Matt and Natalie’s story is a reminder of the possibility of transformation, real change, and renewed connection possible in recovery. We are reminded that there are no accidents, and everything in their journey has brought them to where they are now: coaches working with others who are facing the same struggles as they did. You can find them at truthrisingcoaching.com.

EP 109: Live Unashamed- Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, nature beats addiction

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Changing our state is a good practice when dealing with life’s stressful events – but getting outside and connecting to nature resets our minds. Chris, Steve, and James share what works best for them from hiking, sitting by a fire, or getting on a boat to help reset their state of mind. 

The episode ends with a challenge to get outdoors and dive into nature. When you are done, go back to your car and get your phone and email a picture to chris@unashamedunafraid.com. 

EP 108: Jacob and Trichelle's Story

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Jacob and Trichelle, married for 32 years, both serve on the staff of Desert Solace, a pornography and sexual addiction treatment facility in St. George, Utah. In this episode, they recount their transformative journey from what they once described as 'soul sucking' to something they now see as 'beautiful'.

Jacob's addiction overshadowed the first 26 years of their marriage but was difficult to identify as it oscillated between sex and workaholism. Their marriage teetered on the edge. Feeling unredeemable, both, at different points, reached their ultimate breaking points. In time, they both emerged from the darkness and today, help others through similar struggles.

This episode delves into the couples’ heart-wrenching but ultimately redemptive story. Discover how they achieved what seemed impossible and continue to persevere today. Hear why they call God their best friend. Learn about Desert Solace and the impactful work Jacob and Trichelle now do there. Gain access to tools, resources, inspiration, and possibly a reframing of your own journey.

EP 107: Live Unashamed- Higher Power

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In this episode, Steve, James, and guest Kurt Francom explore the role of a higher power in addiction recovery. Recognizing the diversity of perspectives surrounding this topic, the trio transcends conventional definitions, offering insights grounded in their collective experience. The conversation touches on crucial themes, including wounds, surrender, identity, healing, and happiness. If you've ever pondered the complexities of this subject, you'll enjoy this thought-provoking and spirited discussion.

EP 106: Live Unashamed- Is Long Term Sobriety Possible?

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Chris discusses his 15 years of sobriety and how it is defined with the group. Rather than a focus on abstinence from lust and acting out, recovery is a new way of life we walk with Christ. They also discuss the analogy of a marathon runner who trips up on mile 24 and how he doesn’t have to restart the race, he gets up and keeps on running. 

What is your story in recovery? How have you defined reality and, more importantly, how do you define living a life with Christ in true hope and recovery? Share with Chris@unashamedunafraid.com, James@unashamedunafraid.com, and Steven@unashamedunafraid.com.

EP 105: Brian and Alicia's Story

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“When you are at rock bottom, you are super hard on yourself and you are just going to keep going further down - but when you finally have hope - you see the light and desire to keep going.”

Brian and Alicia met in middle school, served missions for their church and got married. On returning home from South Africa, Brian got a smartphone and quickly found out how slippery a slope pornography is. He used it to medicate the negative emotions in life and got to the point where he couldn’t ground out as “normal” during the day without pornography. 

Upon disclosure, Alicia began a journey of getting to know who God is. Together they began attending a couples recovery meeting and repairing their relationship. As they reached out to each other and to others, they saw there is hope in recovery and that recovery is possible. 

EP 104: Live Unashamed- Addiction vs. Behavior

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Recognizing that we have behaviors that are detrimental to both ourselves and others brings up some important questions. We wonder whether these actions classify as addictions, transient behaviors, or merely bad habits. More questions come up when we find that we can't easily stop the behavior.

In this episode, we explore the reasons we even ask the questions. We contemplate the significance of the societal labels associated with such behaviors, the underlying factors contributing to our actions, and whether seeking help is necessary.

EP 103: Bryce's Story

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Today, Bryce is known among his friends as genuinely happy, and capable of putting an entire room at ease upon entering it. But it was only a few years ago that he reached out for help from the edge of despair. He had hit rock bottom in a lifestyle of porn and sex that was wreaking havoc in his life. Breaking free from shame and his destructive habits proved to be a challenging journey, but supportive individuals entered his life and guided him into therapy and helped him develop a community of friends with whom he could share his challenges. 

In this episode, find out how Bryce's mother came to his rescue, the role God played in his recovery and how his newfound support network helped him navigate difficult changes, including the termination of a tumultuous romantic relationship. The episode ends with a compelling segment titled 'Advice from Bryce' and a surprise phone call.

EP 102: Live Unashamed- Music in Recovery

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“Music can give me empathy like nobody around me can.” 

Join us in a shorter 20-minute episode as Steven, James, and Chris share how music has helped them see God differently. Not just Christian music, but anything that uplifts, inspires, takes you to a sad place, or otherwise moves you into a place of reflection and learning. 

Music is an amplifier of emotion which provides clarity and the opportunity to evaluate where we are in a moment of time - or to take us back to a moment of time. Often music can also be a way to numb out, get angry, and act out. Join us in the journey of exploring how music plays a part (or maybe doesn’t play a part) in your life. 

Steven ends with an invitation - pick music that makes you really uncomfortable because it pricks a particular emotion and read the lyrics, sing it out loud, and see what happens. Leave a comment below with your experience or email Steven, James, or Chris directly. 

EP 101: Kaylawnni's Story

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At the age of 9, Kaylawnni began a challenging journey with sexual compulsion. Her struggle is marked by confusion and damaged self-confidence. A lyric from her favorite song boldly highlights the cause, "The devil lies, and twists the truth." She always assumed she'd take her secrets to the grave, but then, a close friend bravely disclosed his own battles, inspiring her to start her path to recovery.

In this bold and unashamed episode, Kaylawnni shares her insights and advice, highlighting the availability of help. Today, with God playing a significant role in her life, Kaylawnni reflects on her past with kindness and offers encouragement to those facing similar struggles.

Do you have a story you are willing to share?  Email our Podcast Executive Director Jeremy at jeremy@unashamedunafraid.com. 

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