Our Invitation to Be Unashamed and Unafraid

“You don’t have to be perfect to be unashamed.” - Chris  

It has been three years since I first launched UnashamedUnafraid and it has been amazing. We have shared a lot of insights, stories, and hope and have had so much shared back with us. It is amazing how God finds us in the most dark and hopeless moments. Starting our fourth year Chris and I would like to again invite any men struggling with sexual addiction to be unashamed and unafraid.

Unashamed: about sexual addiction recovery. Chris, who now has just over a decade of total sobriety and recovery, talks about how becoming unashamed was key for him. I, who am still struggling with addiction, have already seen how being unashamed has helped me in recovery so far. Unashamed means not isolating-not taking on this addiction alone. It means being honest about what is going on, and sharing to create an honest community of help. It means sharing with our spouses and other family and friends who can help us. It meaning being willing to reach out, not in, and get help. Being honest is so hard when you are in addiction, but it is key to getting help. If you are willing to take the risk, there are “plenty of people like me, all outsiders like me” who are willing to help you and have been where you’ve been.

Unafraid: to come unto Christ for healing. This is still something I am really working on. Chris and I talk about how he has had many rock bottom moments, but didn’t change. Finally, Chris realized he didn’t ever give Autumn (his wife), his church, or God 100%. Chris talks about how he was not unafraid, but very afraid. As addicts we often hide what we’re afraid of with good posing. Whether that’s isolating or being over-charismatic we all know what this posing, faking or hiding it looks like. I still struggle with my fears a lot and Chris talks about how he finally chose to be unafraid and see what God had for him. It changed his life and allowed him to become healed.

Our invitation to be unashamed and unafraid can be illustrated by the pill scene from the matrix. At this point in the movie Mr. Anderson (Neo) meets Morpheus who invites him to take one of two pills. If he takes the blue pill he can continue to “believe whatever it is you want to believe”. Meaning living in a life that he knows is false and unfulfilling. Or he can take the red pill and “see how far down the rabbit hole goes (Alice in Wonderland reference)”. Meaning, to break free from what enslaved him and live as he truly was made to.

So it is with our invitation: You can continue to tell yourself that you don’t have a problem and you don’t live afraid (even though you know you do) and watch your life play out in black and white and wonder why you’re not happy. Or you can take the risk to be unashamed and unafraid and see that you are worth of a live-in-full-color HD. God does have a wonderful life for you that is addiction free. You truly can have peace and love your life and who you are. All the shame, unworthiness, too far gone, not worth it is a lie. I admit, a very good lie, which I have struggled with. But it is a lie all the same.

This year we are working to share with you ten men’s/couple’s stories of recovery. We will continue to take anonymous questions and post those with answers from experts and men/couples who have been through recovery. We invite you to visit our Resources page and find other resources to help your recovery. One we strongly suggest is the Warrior Heart Retreat.

You are not alone. There is hope. We are here for you and so is God. We wanted to leave you with Fear is a Liar by Zach Williams to bring you hope to be unashamed and unafraid.         

We hope to see you all at UCAP this Saturday. Also our podcast can now be found everywhere podcasts are found! Not just iTunes. So sorry this took so long! Subscribe wherever