When I started recovery one of the first stories of recovery I heard was Chris and Autumn's. It gave me so much hope! I'm grateful they would be willing to share their story here with all of us. What is so amazing to me is how far they have come and how much lasting healing and change has really happened. I hope as you listen to their story you will feel of the hope and light they have and know you can experience it too.
"I just felt the lowest I've ever felt in my life. I felt like I was unworthy of living...then I tried to take my life." - Autumn
"Autumn was in and out of consciousness. I just picked her up and was holding her, waiting for the police to get there and just started praying. If God would let her live I would stop everything. I would stop the affairs, pornography, the masturbation, everything." - Chris
"We were referred to LifeSTAR and I didn't want to go. I was really mad. Cuz I'm like, 'there is nothing wrong with me here'. I felt like I was going to go to this group and I was going to be the only wife of an addict. I didn't even know what an addict was. At first I was all, 'that's a load of crap. There is no thing as a sexual addiction.' To my surprise it was not what I expected at all. It was a good thing." -Autumn
"I opened myself up to healing my own life, because I knew if I didn't heal my life, if I ended up with some else, I could be in the same situation. I thought, I'm not going to do anything better by not bettering my life. I’m just going to hold all this bitterness, anger, sadness, and trauma that I've had from this. I especially wanted my own relationship with myself to be better." -Autumn
"We had been in recovery for 18 months and with that I was still lying. Within a year of everything coming out I started another affair. I made that promise to God, but Satan still had a hold on me." - Chris
"I hated the person I'd become. I was lying about little things that I didn't even need to lie about. We went to a movie and God told me, 'you need to change your life...your family needs you.' It took me about two more months to tell autumn." - Chris
"I decided to lay everything out. From growing up as a kid, all the affairs, to my addiction to pornography, everything. At that point I did a complete lifestyle change." - Chris
"I started praying, because I didn't love my wife anymore and I wanted to know how I could love her again. Part of my prayers were, ‘God, show me how I can love my wife again.’ And it was everyday. I was so focused on the negative things about my wife, that's all I saw. When I started focusing on the things I loved about her is when I started to see her the way I used to see her. I was finally able to get my best friend back again." - Chris
"I could see the physical change in him when he had told me everything. I could literally see...I pictured this big weight on him. I could see it lifted. I could see this light coming back to him. Even though he was still having slips and he was checking in with me. I saw him working his program and I knew he was going to heal his life." - Autumn
"This has changed my life. I have found that I used my Savior's Atonement for myself. I have learned so much. Before, I saw only glimpses of the man God intended Chris to be and now I see more of the man God intends for him to be. He lives that way. It is totally worth it. It's the road that not a lot of people choose to take, but I did and I'm glad I did." -Autumn
"Is it worth it? Absolutely. To get me to become the man I am today, I would do it all over again. Especially knowing how close I am now to Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and how close I am to my wife. Learning that I can battle for my heart. That no matter what I've done I am still loved. I've caused a lot of pain and I won't ever forget the pain I've caused. Yet if my story can provide hope for one person, I'd share it with the world. I know without a doubt the love [Christ] has for you." - Chris
"I would tell everyone that they deserve to heal their life. They deserve that. It's their right to heal their life. I would tell everyone that your story is your own, it's no one else's. And to know that they are loved. We all make agreements with the adversary. Wives think they're not good enough and they'll never find happiness. I want people to know they are loved and there is always a way out. Always." - Autumn
Unashamed & Unafraid
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